Find a Way, or Make one.

Real Estate Stuff

2011-06-23T21:01:00.000+05:30

I'm building a website for a relative of mine, who runs a real estate business.

Check it out - raghav sen real estate (most of his work is in Kolkata).

I'm going to try and use some stuff from this article on design - hopefully, I won't make a mess of it.

Time's up !

2010-08-15T19:50:00.000+05:30

Leaving for Yale tomorrow.

I started packing _today_.

I think I'm finished - which is not really an encouraging statement because I thought I had finished packing many times today.

My mother's sending lots of ready-to-eat food.. the customs people will probably think I'm trying to open a restaurant or something..

Wish me Luck ! (well, with 91CR on my side, luck is my lady.. hehe..)

My website is up !

2010-08-10T15:03:00.000+05:30

Hey.. my website is finally up.

Most of it is still being built, but you might want to look at : http://cs.debayangupta.com/web/ - I've added some nice stuff there.

Convert a character to hex using javascript

2010-08-05T15:00:00.001+05:30

There are lots of massive solutions to this - here's a 0.2 second solution ( I am posting this because I saw this )

"x.charCodeAt(0).toString(16).toUpperCase()" is the hex of x. Use charCodeAt(i) for a full string (parseInt otherwise).

I realize that this is trivial. It is stupid. It can be done in many ways, most of which are ridiculously easy.

Unfortunately, people are failing to do even this. Meh, more proof for the FizzBuzz statistic.

The margin-top problem (and solution !)

2010-07-30T22:46:00.003+05:30

This is one of the more irritating CSS errors around - you put something inside a div - and the div takes on the margin-top of its child element.

To illustrate - here's a page with multiple divs, with margin-top:0px specifically assigned for the divs.

The page looks like this : [link to page]

The margin-top problem

It should actually look like this : [link to page]

Solved margin-top

Here's an example of the CSS used:

body {
 margin:0;padding:0;text-align:center;background:#222;
 font-family:"Times New Roman", Times, serif;font-size:16px;
}

#box1,.other {
 width:1000px;
 margin:0px auto;
 background:#EEE;
 border-bottom:2px red solid;
}

#box1 {
 height:270px;
 margin-top:0px;
}

.other {
 height:150px;
 margin-top:0px!important;/*makes no difference*/
}

And some of the HTML :

<div id="box1">
 <h1>This h1 tag should have a margin-top. Instead, the div gets it.</h1>
</div>

<div class="other">
 <p style="margin-top:50px;">Text in a styled p tag with a margin-top : again, the parent div takes it.</p>
</div>

To solve this problem, just add a padding-top:1px or a border - any padding or border affecting the top of the parent element will resolve the issue.

As you can see, chrome has this problem. I have tested it on FF, Opera and IE8 with the exact same results.

Horror of horrors, IE6 renders it correctly.

I think I'll go drown myself now.

Solution to 100 Prisoners and a Light Bulb

2010-07-28T01:53:00.001+05:30

"100 prisoners are imprisoned in solitary cells. Each cell is windowless and soundproof. There's a central living room with one light bulb; the bulb is initially off. No prisoner can see the light bulb from his or her own cell. Each day, the warden picks a prisoner equally at random, and that prisoner visits the central living room; at the end of the day the prisoner is returned to his cell.

While in the living room, the prisoner can toggle the bulb if he or she wishes. Also, the prisoner has the option of asserting the claim that all 100 prisoners have been to the living room.

If this assertion is false (that is, some prisoners still haven't been to the living room), all 100 prisoners will be shot for their stupidity.

However, if it is indeed true, all prisoners are set free and inducted into MENSA, since the world can always use more smart people. Thus, the assertion should only be made if the prisoner is 100% certain of its validity.

Before this whole procedure begins, the prisoners are allowed to get together in the courtyard to discuss a plan. What is the optimal plan they can agree on, so that eventually, someone will make a correct assertion?"

- from William Wu's riddles website

Solution :

I think that the light bulb is a blind - there is no need for it.

The best plan is for the prisoners to decide this : if the same prisoner gets called to the central room a certain number of times, they make the assertion.

What are the chances of the same person getting called to the room twice ? Thrice ? Four times ?

Even no. of times = 2 produces very good odds.

Keeping it at 4, chances are that the prisoners will be out in just over a year.

I might, of course, be entirely wrong ( seeing as its 1:47 AM ).

Getting ready to move..

2010-07-24T20:14:00.000+05:30

Spent the last few weeks finishing up all my projects (my backlog is always twice of what it should be).

Over the last two days I had to deal with no less than four FizzBuzz-challenged "developers" who mucked up my carefully optimized code by "removing obviously unnecessary lines" - I nearly ended their obviously unnecessary lives before my brain kicked in - at which point I simply decided to charge extra.

It really is rather sad to see the sheer number of programmers who, simply put, cannot code. This problem is compounded by the fact that most of these people are under the impression that they are experts.

Pooh.

I sense a Censor

2010-04-21T14:11:00.000+05:30

Censorship: It tends to get irritating very, very quickly.

Indian censors really take the cake - they replace "hell" with "heck" in the subtitles. Which works in most movies, but not something like "Bedazzled".

"Paragraph one states that I, the Devil, a not-for-profit cooperation, with offices in Purgatory, heck, and Los Angeles, will give you seven wishes to use as you see fit"

What the heck ?

Not only do they get stuff wrong all the time (it really is quite obvious that the people writing the subtitles have no knowledge of English), but I mean seriously ! Censoring SUBTITLES ?!! (and mixing up "lichen" and "lycan" )

They're been cutting out crucial scenes from movies for a long time (anything "too gory" or "showing too much skin") - but allowing shows like Splitsvilla to continue - which do you think is worse for our innocent, naive little minds ?

And you know what ? This is helping increase piracy. I watched this movie a couple of months ago - and I liked it, but it seemed that some scenes were cut off (there was an obvious break in continuity), so I went and bought a DVD. Guess what - that was censored too.

So I ended up having to download the bloody thing, just to watch the whole movie. Which I PAID for. And it wasn't a sex scene. It wasn't very gory (I've seen stuff a lot worse on TV). And it certainly should not have been censored.

So just for the heck of it, I decided to find out how many people ended up downloading/ buying from pirates even after they had bought the DVDs, or had decided not to buy originals because they would be incomplete.

I asked 16 of my friends - here are the results :

2 - usually buy

3 - always download because its cheaper, and easier to get.

11 - download pirated stuff because its better.

And guess why its better ?

They're compressed to 700MB or so (not everyone wants to get a hi-def - they'd rather watch the movie first, see if they like it, and then maybe get a better resolution)
They're out first - movies are often released much, much later in India, so people who really, really, want to watch, people who can and will pay, people who are anxious for the film - will download a hall cam record.
They are complete ( Indian censors substituted "courtesan" for "whore" throughout the movie Original Sin - which is pretty funny, especially in places like "you liar ! Thief ! Courtesan !" )

But that's all right. We don't need FTV to spoil our minds. Or bad language (most parents would be quite.. surprised to know how many swearwords their children are aware of). Or words like "hell".

May you burn in heck.

How to survive interviews

2010-04-17T18:51:00.005+05:30

My aunt came over to my house today, and I was subjected to over an hour of learned monologue (with my aunt, its always a monologue..). I had spent most of the time thinking about Elin Nordegren the Floyd-Warshall algorithm, but I noticed an ant on my wrist, and was startled into listening for over ten seconds.

Apparently, her daughter's college is having mock job interviews (conducted by their placement cell). They are to

wear ironed clothing
shave
shun jeans
wear pleated pants
(girls) wear salwaar suits
hold their noses up at a constant 30 degrees
act in a manner expected of a dapper 70 year old Englishman in the 1830's
generally, be a cowardly *&^$ with a bad attitude.

It is quite evident why these particular imbeciles are stuck with jobs at college placement cells (bad ones at that !) - they have no idea whatsoever of how to give an interview. ( and no, dear residents of America, its not "inner-view" )

An interview is your chance to give your employer a glimpse into the best of you. The best of you. Doing the same, stupid thing as the other four hundred candidates (who have all been to the same career counselling classes as you ) is not going to help.

A good haircut ? A good idea, especially if you're a hairdresser. But it is certainly not the main thing.

Ridiculously expensive clothes ? Again, missing the point.

Surprise surprise, there is no magic formula. No really, act surprised. Because there are lots of "institutes" which provide "personal interview consultancy services". And they earn a lot of money.

The only real way to give a good interview is, as clichéd as it sounds, is to be yourself. You would be surprised at the number of people who cannot do just that.

Most people are merely following the herd, with no idea of what they really want to do. They have no real plans for the future - this is not to say that they are not capable of intelligence. That is what's really sad - these people possess the capacity for thought, but are unable to utilize it because of a variety of reasons.

Can you think ? Would you get punched by Bruce Lee for looking at his finger instead of the Moon ?

What are you good at ? Can you lead a team ? Do you want to ?

Make sure you have the drive, the ambition, and the _power_ (for the lack of a better word) for it to make sense for them to hire you. You should add value to their organisation.

Remember - you are giving this interview to get into a job, where you will be expected to perform, and perform in a way that will do justice to the expectations that you have raised during your interview. Are you ready to do that ?

Be honest. Be intelligent. Know what you want.

Don't waste their - and what is infinitely worse - your time.

PS. I know where the extra "is" is. I put it there.

Moonbeams from the Larger Lunacy

2009-07-21T02:39:00.001+05:30

40 years since the first Lunar Landing, and we still don't have a bus service to the Moon...

Once Upon A Time

2009-02-07T21:26:00.003+05:30

Abhishek Das is dead.

6-FEB-09

He was a student of St. Xavier's College, Kolkata, in the second year of B.Sc. Computer Science Honours. I didn't know him very well.

I do not wish to elaborate. If you have an insatiable urge to know more, go here.

It is so easy, so very simple, to say "may he rest in peace". A generic phrase for A Generic Death (that is what it is for most of us) - just another statistic for the highways.

Soon, we shall all forget, and Abhishek will not touch our lives again, save in memory.

I cannot offer him much, for he no longer needs the things we can give him.

Auf Wiedersehen,

Abhishek Das

Html, Css, js and Me

2008-11-30T20:47:00.003+05:30

Hey there.. I have decided to make a separate area for my codeBlog, which will be located at webs.com. I will continue using this blog for my normal (non code related) posts, and my googlepages website will be used as a sort of archive.

HTML, CSS and JavaScript tricks on webMagic

Bye,

Debayan Gupta

Mumbai Mayhem

2008-11-29T12:58:00.007+05:30

No more words. Truth. Just simple truth.

The NSG commandos have captured and interrogated a terrorist from the Taj.
He has revealed his name, the names of many of the others involved, as well as their objectives.
All of the terrorists were Pakistani nationals, with two possibly holding British passports.
They came from Karachi.
They were planning to reduce the Taj and the Oberoi to rubble in a 9/11 style set of blasts (multiple references to 9/11 were there in the confession)
The boat they came in was actually an Indian boat which had been seized by Pakistani Marine Police (unconfirmed, but the Pakistani Marine Police has been refusing to return seized Indian fishing boats and trawlers for the last 12 months - if the boat was really one of these, then one must suspect that these attacks were in the planning stage even then)
They had orders to "kill till the last breath", and enough ammunition to obey those orders.
The explosives they carried were not the only ones they had access to : more had been shipped in earlier.
All of them had received extensive training in using firearms.
Their target was the Indian economy, and they aimed to destroy the country's symbols of prosperity, and reduce international trust in the country.

On top of all this, the Government of Pakistan is being exceptionally cagey. It is obvious that the American and British Governments will not agree to the fact that current Democracy in Pakistan (for the most part) is tacitly supporting the terrorists attacking India, because well.. "How can it be ! Its Democracy !" .

It is a democracy The American and British Governments helped set up - and now, if it turns out that it is aiding and abetting terrorists, they will lose face ( its a matter of Pride, you see - what matter the lives of a hundred stupid Indians when the very pride of the Queen, God bless Her Soul, is on the Line ?). And, currently, they are simply in a state of childish denial -" I helped make this, so it can't possibly be bad". Sadly, Countries, unlike Children, cannot afford to be juvenile.

The lashkar-e-toiba leader gave speeches in public in Pakistan without fear of attack ( you see, even thought the Lashkar is a banned group, they have renamed themselves the Jama'at-ud-Da'wah, and the banning of this new(!) group is apparently held up by red tape, and as the fellow speaking said that he was the leader of the jama'at, and not the lashkar, they didn't want to arrest him).

The Pakistani Foreign Minister, when interviewed by Prannoy Roy, put forth a slew of badly constructed lies ( I mean, if you're going to lie and misdirect and be generally disingenuous, you might as well try to do it well). The Pakistani Government has gone on a U-turn, after saying that they will send the ISI chief to India - they have decided not to (maybe his double isn't ready yet, or his cover story still has a few patches which require a few more people to be killed before it is watertight). The Pakistani foreign minister interview with Prannoy Roy.

On Terror

2008-11-27T19:32:00.006+05:30

The recent attacks in Mumbai have resulted in a massive furore over the sheer level of incompetence shown by the police and the intelligence division. I find these accusations foolish, and a complete waste of time. India is an incredibly diverse country with a massive, massive population, and its almost impossible to keep track of your own children, let alone unknown vigilantes.

The blasts that are now taking place all over the country are a disgrace to whatever religion these "terrorists" claim to follow - in this matter, I have a bone to pick with the BBC; they keep talking about "Islamic militants" and "Hindu militants". They are no longer Muslim or Hindu - they are militants using the names of these religions to hurt, maim and willfully destroy lives, so I request that the BBC calls them "terrorists", and just that.

I, sadly, have little knowledge of Islam; but even I know that one has to win the Greater Jihad before one can fight the lesser jihad. And even I know that fighting and hurting people in the name of religion , is definitely "lesser".

I am a Hindu, and as far as "Hindu terrorism" is concerned, I find that phrase to be an impossible one. Hinduism is not so much a religion as a mindset : a soulset would be nearer the truth, but utterly incomprehensible to most. Hinduism has no doctrines, no laws, no concept of heresy, no chains at all. It believes that every religion is correct, and that "swadharmanishtha" - belief in one's own faith is among the most respectable of virtues (ie., ceteris paribus, a devout christian is more respectable than a not-so-devout Hindu).

You do not need to go to a temple to be a Hindu. You need not perform rituals. You can eat beef. You can live, you can die, but the one thing a Hindu is expected to do is this : the right thing. A true Hindu cannot hate, for he or she would believe that everything is god - even the one they hate is but a manifestation of god.

I find it quite ridiculous that "Hindu terrorism" is taken seriously. They are either Hindu, or terrorists : they cannot be both. I could speak on for hours about various old incidents (Babri, etc.) - and there are many stories to tell, about how there was really not much tension at all, until some "leaders" turned up and stirred the mob, and the mob did as mobs do : mobbed.

It had nothing to do with Hinduism or Islam - Imagine an orator speaking to a group of uneducated British Christians, all farmers and clerks and what we so easily generalise as "common men". Imagine this orator telling them that a hedonism-based club bas been built over the birthplace of Jesus Christ. Now imagine that this mob is directly in front of this site, mysteriously armed (these are "common men and women").. do you want to imagine ?

We must not allow these events to sow mistrust within us, for that is the objective of these "terrorists" - unlike attacks elsewhere, where fear is the objective, these attacks in India have a different target : our trust. We live in India, a country where one almost always has people from three different religions within earshot.

These attacks are aimed at our bonds : to make us lose the trust which allows all of us to live in harmony : and we cannot afford to lose that peace, because then, there will be war, and this war will never end, because trust, once broken, is difficult to reforge.

Difficult. And I'm lazy, and I'll finish by B.Sc. in some time; so here's a little note : I would prefer it if my elders left me a world to live in, as opposed to a battleground. I would like to be able to worry about having to choose between specializing in AI or IT, rather than worrying about what religion the fellow sitting across me follows. I would like to live.

Hmm. Personally, looking at your track record, my dear elders, "leaders" and politicians.. I dont' think most of us will have a chance to do so.

Oh well. Its nice to be immortal like me. Too bad it only lasts until I die.

*praying for absinthe

Debayan Gupta

Expanding and collapsing divs, And the common cold

2008-11-24T14:27:00.003+05:30

This page uses css, and a little bit of js to create clickable expanding and collapsing divs : link.

I am suffering from an attack by the evil rhinovirus, and my exams are on Thursday. Boo hoo.

On a (considerably) brighter note, I spent the last few hours reading badly drawn cartoons. I have no idea why I am feeling so elated about it.

My neighbours are deconstructing their house again - fourteen workers and a "rajmistri" breaking and building things; by sunset, my house looks like Pompeii, only with a thicker layer of dust. This, combined with the fact that I am horribly (and when I say horribly, I mean _horribly_ ) allergic to dust, means that I am constantly on the verge of arson.

Madness is not like gravity, its like having only Ctrl+Alt+Del buttons..

Building built.. now for the bill

2008-11-23T13:00:00.004+05:30

Long time no blog. I've been quite busy these last few months, with exams and whatnot. However, here's some good news : I've built a new website for the SXCSU ( St. Xavier's College Students' Union) link.

Its not very good ( because they're using a background image, and insisted I use frames*), but I've built some interesting code into the page, and you're welcome to use any and all code on the site.

I came up against some problems with colours and linking (because the mainpage has a background, and none of inner pages do ), and had to use a bit of code to solve it - just go to any deeper page to see it, say here : link.

One of the main problems I had was cross-browser integration, and DOCTYPE s. I mean, its very irritating when I have to use jS just to build a marquee ! I do understand W3C's point, though, and I am currently building a page using CSS ( and HTML 4.01 strict). I'll put up a version of that page soon enough, and I'll build an empty version so that people can use the code for their own pages.

I will be putting up some of the nicer codes I've come across, and various ways to create all kinds of nice effects, as well as a list of good web pages providing info about this kind of stuff : what amazes me is that there are so many pages with so much data, but no helpful information whatsoever. For example, the current version of the sxcsu runs better in quirks mode ! If I put in a doctype, it prevents me from resizing the frame, and generally wreaks havoc on the entire system.

I included a css navigation bar with progressive enhancement using jS, so that it checks if top=self, and if so, doesn't hide a navigation bar on the top of the page, with a link to the home page. This means that each page has a link to the mainpage, allowing users and bots some path to follow.

I included a similar code on the mainpage as well, with links to all my important pages, but I've included a 'pop out of frame' code.. so it never really displays it, but its good for bots.

Adios !

Dowedzenia !

Auf Weidersehen !

Nomoskar !

Nikal jao mere nazron ke samne se !

Bye,

Deabayan Gupta

* frames - and I quote "when we click, the whole page must not reload, but only a smaller window inside the page, which will contain another webpage"; I suppose I could have used the OBJECT tag, but what the heck - it has the same problem with navigation.

How to embed background music in googlepages

2008-04-14T19:56:00.010+05:30

A lot of people have been asking me about this - which is no surprise, seeing as the popular "solution" to this seems to be to publish the page, save it, edit the code, upload as a file, and link to this file. This means that your ability to edit the page is at par with the competence of the Kolkata Municipality.

So here's the easy way

First, upload or find the URL of the music file that you wish to play in the background.

Once you've uploaded your music file - pulp.mid in this case, just paste the following code into your page. (Just go to the right bottom corner of the screen and click on 'edit html' : once there, just paste the code.)

(Click on the image if it is unreadable - I would have used text, but blogger also has a similar code, so it'll just disappear..)

Its possible to embed anything using this code, not just music. Once the first line is written, you can write html code normally.

N.B. : It is advisable to put this code at the bottom of your page, so that you can use the googlepages interface with greater ease.

This is twenty per cent skill. Adios Amigos!

How to download videos from Youtube, Dailymotion,et cetera

2008-04-13T19:39:00.005+05:30

Some of my friends have been asking me for posts on a few things, like how to save flash videos(youtube, etc.) and play them, and also on how to embed sounds, or other things in googlepages. So, here's the first one...

Step 1 : Get the video

If the site does not seem to allow saving, You can get the video by using a website like http://www.techcrunch.com/get-youtube-movie/ or, just wait for the video to load (all of it), then go to your Temporary Internet Files folder, and copy the file to another folder.

For Firefox users:
Just open firefox, and type in about:cache?device=disk as the URL. The folder used for Temporary internet files will be displayed, as well, as the various files and their details. Just search for the URL of the video, and then open the folder and copy the file by seeing the file size. Arranging the icons according to size is usually a good idea.

For IE users :
In many computers, the Temporary Internet files folder is hidden, so to view it, you'll have to change your view. To do this, just open any folder, and go to:
Tools > Folder Options > View (the second tab)

Here, change the following :
A) In Hidden files and Folders, select Show hidden files and folders
B) Uncheck the box saying Hide protected operating system files

Now go to
C:\Documents and Settings\YOUR USERNAME\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files
And copy the file to your chosen folder.

If you have trouble finding the file, there are three common ways of identifying it-
A) Right click, and arrange icons by size - your videos will be larger than most other files.
B) Arrange by Modified - if your video was the last thing you loaded, then your video will be the large file at the end of the file list.
C) The name of the file will often begin or end with the name it has on the URL, so,
www.blahblah.com/videonum=drw43rfsf will often have the name drw43rfsf.

Step 2 : Get a player or codec

There are many ways of playing these files, but the three most common ways are to use a flash video player, or to install a codec, so it plays in Windows Media Player, or to use another player like VLC (http://www.videolan.org/vlc/).

There are plenty of flash video players available, however, it is often difficult to know which ones are safe to use, so be sure to scan it before running.

As for codecs, the one I use is FFDshow (I actually installed something called PlayFLV, which required FFDshow to play most new files). This, once installed, allows you to play numerous file types on Windows MediaPlayer.
FFDshow can be found at : http://sourceforge.net/projects/ffdshow

. dot . dot . dot .

Been a long time

2008-04-13T19:30:00.002+05:30

Hello World. Its been a long time since my last post, and it seems to me, that 'soory'[sic] seems to be a most inadequate word.

I have been wasting my time in a number of new ways, ranging from playing Minesweeper to trying to imitate a crow to mugging words for GRE (I shall soon put up a post detailing said preparations and the sites I have found useful). That being said, it has come to my attention that I am woefully behind on my plans for WORLD DOMINATION, OR FAILING THAT, BECOMING FILTHY RICH.

So, here I am.

Doin' just Fine here in Nadigram. Just Dandy.

2007-11-16T19:59:00.000+05:30

With this fiasco in Nandigram, the esteemed 'Leaders' of the Government of West Bengal have undeniably earned their position as the most utterly ignorant government in the history of India.

According to our government, when some violence broke out in the Nandigram area, the CPM party sent some of its 'boys' to 'resolve' the problem. The Police were told to ensure that the 'boys' faced no trouble, and they obeyed, in the cheerfully spineless manner the residents of this state have come to expect of our Police Force.

Fact to Ignore #1: Who the @*%$ are these 'boys' to enforce peace ? There is a difference between supporters of a political party, and enforcers of Law and Order in a democratic country.

Fact to Ignore #2: The cauldron of violence had been boiling in the Nandigram area for quite a while, however, the Government chose to ignore it until it was on the daily news - it would appear the the Government depends on 'Star Ananda', 'Tara News', and 'Chobbish Ghonta' to inform it of what is going on in its own state. It should be noted that the last, 'Chobbish Ghonta' is, through various means, influenced, if not entirely controlled, by the CPM party.

Fact to Ignore #3: The Government could see, on live television, the atrocities being committed in Nandigram. They still assured the public that Nandigram was now an entirely peaceful area, and the only trouble had been caused by Maoists and Trinamul supporters (NB. I do not possess any sort of bias towards any of these parties - I am, in Twainian tradition, entirely democratic - I hate them all equally). Also, I have till date been unable to find any reason for the existence of these 'Maoists' - Their agenda seems to be rather ..hazy.. I would give a lot to know exactly what it is they want.

Here is the TRUTH, mon ami - The CPM cadres in te Nandigram area have alredy murdered, raped, and pillaged (though, in some cases, they seem to have forgotten the Golden Rule of Invasion : pillage, then burn) - if peace is restored to the region, and Justice is served, they're facing, at best, a decade or five in prison. They are cornered rats, and thus, they act and fight like vermin. Even as I type, they kill more people - and they shall kill until they are stopped. The question now, my friends, is not who these people are, or what should be done to them - I for one, would like to spare more thought on the victims and the survivors, rather than the murderers.
This is not the first time a village has been 'taken' by the CPM - this has happened many times in the past, however, this is the first time the media has caught them red handed.

There is, of course, another reason for the violence - we know why these CPM cadres are fighting - but what motivates the people who are fighting against them ? Sadly, it is not merely love for their land which sets their hearts aflame. The tragic truth runs thus - The CPM, in wanting to control more votes, has been, for a not inconsiderable period of time, letting in illegal immigrants from Bangladesh. This has resulted in a large number of terrorists being escorted over the border of the Republic of India by the CPM. This is, perhaps , part of the reason why there are not many terrorist attacks in West Bengal - the terrorists do not wish to attract attention to the hole in the wall.

The population of Nandigram contained many such immigrants, who have no legal means of survival outside the areas where the CPM cheerfully turns a blind eye to the fact that the population of an area id nearly triple of what it should be (the number of false ration cards in West Bengal is, according to many estimates, comparable to, and perhaps even greater then the number of legal ration cards). These people had nowhere to go if the land on which they lived was seized by the government - and they would, of course, get no compensation - they were not supposed t be there in the first place ! And So, they fought back. Cornered rats, against vermin who are now in the same boat.

A disgusting, revolting, and utterly inhumane condition, caused by the foolishness and lack of foresight of the people of West Bengal - for I find them the true criminals in this case ! Criminals, who have not revolted against the atrocities of the government earlier, before it escalated to such levels. Criminals, because of whom, few will now wish to invest in this state. Criminals, who are to blame for this - for all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

I, for one, am most displeased (I am well recognized for my talent for understatement) with the actions of the government. If I could, I would roast that fool of a speaker Biman Bose over a slow fire. By the GODS, what an imbecile ! "A new Sun has risen in Nandigram". My foot. They call themselves communists.. Leftists (!) - when they know nothing of what they preach, and are more likely to think of plates then philosophy when Plato is mentioned.

Pathetic.

A big name in India today

2007-06-25T19:48:00.000+05:30

Avul Pakir Jainulbadeen Abdul Kalam.

Big name indeed - I remember reading an old cartoon, where one student is complaining to his teacher regarding the unfairness of his punishment, as compared to that of another student involved in the mischief , writing his name on the board one hundred times, citing the fact that "His name is Raj Ray, and mine is Shreegopala Chandraswamy Venkataraghavan Subramanian".

These .. Indian Politicians (I have tried and failed to find a worse insult to throw at them) seek to replace Avul Pakir Jainulbadeen Abdul Kalam ! With who ? The current candidates may be very nice people (or not!) but APJ Abdul Kalam is not an easy man to replace - If this had been a company, the executive who thought of firing him would be on the streets by now- which goes to explain the state of our country.

The cheap methods employed by both the sides in canvassing their candidates for the role of President of the Republic of India are nothing less than disgusting (and criminally foolish, but the rest of them appear to be even more stupid than I had initially suspected).

One one hand, we have a candidate who was pushed up by the media, which was jumping up and down about the 'first Female president', to a position where she was receiving more publicity than most presidents do. While she is perhaps... 'qualified', according to our eminent political minds, she was part of several mills which have shown large losses. The promoters of her campaign say that she had nothing to do with this, and cite the fact that some 74 other mills were also experiencing less than profitable accounts. That is fine and well, but not a good excuse - we are not asking any of the other mill owners to become the President of the Republic of India, are we ? What I want to ask is this : Do we really want a person who ran a mere sugar mill (was it sugar ?) into the red; Tens of crores into the red, running our country ?

On the other hand, we have a Vice President. A good person perhaps, but a nonentity.

That's what an Indian President was all about - nonexistence. The person chosen was usually a well educated nonentity . but that changed when Dr. Kalam came along. He was the first President whose presence was felt by the world. A man of immense knowledge, potential and moral strength, and he possessed the two qualities I think any person in any governmental position should require - Patriotism, and Intelligence. How many of our politicians are patriotic ? (I shall not mention intelligence. The two do not belong in the same sentence.)

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam. Padma Bhushan. Padma Vibhushan. Bharat Ratna. Scientist. Known to be a morally upstanding person. Son of a fisherman. Has written books bought by people other than those paid to buy them.

Nonentity #458216. Politician.

(Enough joking around - we all know who's actually going to be the president if those two are not.)

Sonia Gandhi nee Maino (she has her own website). Has written books. Politician.

What is our country coming to ?

Nettles

2007-06-25T18:06:00.000+05:30

Yep. That's what my net service feels like. been offline for two weeks.

Are you pondering what I'm pondering .. ?

2007-06-11T17:58:00.000+05:30

It is amusing to note that one of the only jobs in India today which do not require any educational qualifications whatsoever is that of the politician. We find ourselves at a point in time, space, and general incompetence, where we require the lowest office clerks to possess degrees, while we allow ourselves to be ruled (no less !) by fools, criminals, and people who lave long since passed into senility. The imbeciles who 'govern' us are apparently representative of the people of India; If this is true, then such people should not be allowed to vote. Look at them ! Criminals with murder cases by the dozen against them, corrupt to the point that a single honest act evinces astonishment from the intelligent population (if such an entity exists; I merely speak for myself and a few of my friends).

Democracy ? It is with great effort that I am able to restrain myself from cursing this term. The word promises much. It brings before us a beautiful vision. Nonsense. That's what it is. Democracy ? Mobocracy is more like it. We allow ourselves to be ruled be people elected by a mob. A country, in the end, is just another team effort, just like any large business; the employees must be happy.. the customers satisfied, and the surplus (I like this term better than 'profit') generated for the shareholders as large as possible. What company allows a person with no qualification (And I do not speak in mere educational terms - an illiterate person is patently qualified if he or she has the knowledge and ability required, while a person with a doctorate may be entirely unqualified for the position ) to become its head ?

Any team effort requires a leader, or at least a manger, with the capability to lead. This person, then, must be inspirational, intelligent, and most importantly, must want to do what needs to be done to take the country forward. What we have is incompetent buffoons with IQs which have raised suspicions that they were switched at birth with shaved primates, whose primary interests seem to be pecuniary. They have embezzled so much money from their countries that, if caught, their jail sentences would likely cover the rest of their miserable lives.

Ah, how I rant..

The future before us is a bright one, if only we can find the strength to grab it. We come into the world a marvel of evolution; or creation, if you like, but a marvel nevertheless - and what do we do with our infinite potential ? We squander it.

There are good politicians. There are good policemen. There are good people, all over India, and the World, in great numbers. What there is not enough of, is initiative. The will to change, to say, that This Is Wrong, let me change it; the usual answer in our minds, is a 'Why should I do anything.. nobody else is.. Its not my responsibility !' - an answer fraught with our apathy, our fear of being ostracized, and most of all, our inherent mental inertia.

Yet.. what are we likely to do about it ? How many intelligent, competent people will sacrifice the rest of their lives to become politicians ? Because that is what it is - it is almost a vocation; a politician has to do the same thing as the soldier, and give up his or her life for the Country, but where the greatest sacrifice required of a soldier is death, the political arena demands life, a lifetime of service. How many are prepared to give up lucrative careers to do this ? There are no money boxes in the future, only toil.. I confess that I, for one, would not. I had once entertained the idea of governing, but I have long since lost my faith in humanity, as pathetic as it has become, and am unable to find it in myself to care, to care so much that I should give up my life.
And so, we end up with the leftovers of society becoming the rulers of it.

Ah, the irony of it.

But all is not lost - there are Harsh Manders in our India, and a hundred Teesta Setalvads whom we walk past in the street. A Dilip D'Souza types away in the shadow of the dilapidated building to the right. The dim, flickering light from the unstable looking lamp post, casting more shadow than light reveals a Ram Puniyani in deep thought, looking up at the skies. Perhaps its the 'Accusation : Its the Management's fault' syndrome which is to blame for much of the unhappiness - either way, a long road lies before us - forget the thousand miles, and take the first step !

Aviroop. You're it.

Todays Tidbit : Sacred Games (Vikram Chandra)

Twist and Shout - The Soap is Watching You

2007-06-07T19:14:00.000+05:30

Television, of late, has become an instrument for transmission of so called 'entertainment', which, as the days go by, has become increasingly inane. This aforementioned noun has come to represent some of the most potent mentally damaging elements imaginable, all packed into a good-sized multiple-hour chunk of what little leisure time we have.

I have become so irritated with the programs these fools air, that I have stopped watching television, save for reruns of Numbers, Friends, and the occasional movie. Most of the shows are not only bad, but downright unwatchable; the rest are reruns. These shows are apparently aimed at the general public; the makers' excuse being that "this is what our consumers want", and they carry on making these pathetic excuses for serials and reality shows - and these programs are driving the average IQ down even further.

First, the infamous soaps. Let me speak of the good before the bad : Hum Log, Buniyaad, and even some others .. say Tara, Saans, Banegi Apni Baat and Kora Kaagaz were, on the whole, not as full of fæcal matter as expected. The rest ? Well..

The Indian soap opera is Stereotypical with a Capital S. It is full to the brim with plot holes, and the storyline is more unrealistic than that of most fiction/fantasy novels. As for the excuse .. " this is what the audience wants" ? Excuse my language; Bullshit. Every single person I know and respect dislikes these soaps. I know some who watch them, but they do so purely out of .. well - desperation (!) ; I quote , "There's nothing else to watch. I have nothing to do all afternoon - and the only thing on is this.".

What must be understood by these producers and directors is that there is a great dearth of quality programs of Indian television. What does one watch when one does not wish to watch Engineering the Impossible, or Lonely Planet, or a News channel (this last one shall be the subject of a future post, dattebayo) ?

The soaps of India are of a special variety - they contain stereotypical Indian housewives, for the most part (the audience they are aimed at ), and then, these housewives have adventures. Of what Kind, you ask ? Well, there is, of course, the silent battle between different females in a joint family to wrest control of the 'ghar ki chabi', which, apparently, is more sought after by these people than the Crown Jewels. There is, of course, luxury - 300 crores ? Pah ! That's nothing - make it 600, and we'll talk. This, of course, is aimed at the middle class families - targeted on their dreams of wealth. The serials give an entirely erroneous portrayal of the corporate world, with takeovers being performed on a word and a document, in a matter of minutes. The legal aspects are woefully handled, with the levels of sheer incompetence in plot research sinking to incomprehensible depths.

The dialogue is unnecessarily grandiose and filled with false melodrama, with the most pathetic music in the background - There are tribal music drum beats with people shouting chants from the Mahabharata (when the Good people in white, or at least light coloured sarees and Kurtas are successfully standing against the Bad people, who are usually richer, and wear dark colours). There are ghostly sounds, punctuated by cat screeches , and (pathetic) hip hop songs; there are even parts with full blown music from hindi films, usually at 'parties' (these may be identified by the presence of balloons and cake, regardless of occasion).

These serials can be identified from the following Irritating Characteristics -

Crying scenes - female protagonists will inevitably burst into tears at every available opportunity (and the scripts provide for plenty) and the Evil Female will stand and watch, with dramatic music adding to the loathsome mix.
The "Bees Saal Baad" feature; one can identify this occurrence by the sudden appearance of grays in hair, of otherwise unchanged characters, as well as the introduction of new young individuals, who are the children of the now older characters. This time shift is performed with an air of careless contempt, with children who were just born transforming into business tycoons, and others who were touching their teens becoming 20 somethings 'just out of college'.
The Face Off Trick - This plot twist has a person (The Good One, of course) be the unfortunate victim of some sort of mishap or the other,which results in amnesia, while the Bad One Has plastic surgery performed - which makes (usu.) her face look exactly like that of the unfortunate amnesiac (this includes differences in height, the voice, and even eye colour and defects ), and this Evil Person now goes on to wreak whatever havoc the script commands.
Massive attention to the quintessential 'Indian Family' ideals.
Money money money - If you hear a few hundred crores being carelessly shuffled, you're watching a soap.
The camera spin - The camera will spin wildly during many important scenes, with music, usually of the high octane melodramatic kind.
The never ending road - If you see episode 420 being aired, you're here.
Zero attention to current issues - if you see a show where the only thing people mention, even when using metaphors being the Mahabharata and other family members, The Soap is here. (never a mention of rural society, Aids, ie., general issues which ought to be of interest of every educated individual)
Aesthetics ? What's that ? Never heard of it. Does it have something to do with horses ?
General bull. You don't exactly need to know the finer points of baloney detection to get this.

Hm.. And I haven't even reached reality television yet. Oh well... I'll continue tomorrow, for tomorrow is another day.

Petrol costs less than bottled water in Venezuela.

Excuses

2007-06-07T19:05:00.000+05:30

And if you don't like these, feel free to add to the list.

I know I've been off for quite a while.. oh well. Now that I'm back, I find myself in a quite a situation - there is the Mandatory Post On Nandigram to write, as well as one on bedbugs and one on the importance of food habits.. so much to do, so little time. .

Happy New Year !

2007-01-01T20:52:00.000+05:30

Well, its been a long year, 2006 has... from Mamata fasting in order to save farmers from starvation, to Bush admitting that he had 'made a slight miscalculation' in invading Iraq (Note to newsreaders : it's e-rak, not eye-raq), to my mother discovering yet another way of cooking steamed cabbage (do not ask).
The Google Zeitgeist reveals, according to many, the level of the collective intelligence of humanity at any given time - let us see, then how humanity has evolved in the last year...

Google.com - Top Searches in 2006

1. bebo
2. myspace
3. world cup
4. metacafe
5. radioblog
6. wikipedia
7. video
8. rebelde
9. mininova
10. wiki

Google News - Top Searches in 2006

1. paris hilton
2. orlando bloom
3. cancer
4. podcasting
5. hurricane katrina
6. bankruptcy
7. martina hingis
8. autism
9. 2006 nfl draft
10. celebrity big brother 2006

Google.com - Top Searches of 2005

1. Myspace
2. Ares
3. Baidu
4. wikipedia
5. orkut
6. iTunes
7. Sky News
8. World of Warcraft
9. Green Day
10. Leonardo da Vinci

Google News - Top Searches in 2005

1. Janet Jackson
2. Hurricane Katrina
3. tsunami
4. xbox 360
5. Brad Pitt
6. Michael Jackson
7. American Idol
8. Britney Spears
9. Angelina Jolie
10. Harry Potter

Oh well. On that most jarring note,

Dowedzenia, Debayan.

Merry Christmas !

2006-12-25T21:18:00.000+05:30

Here's to a wonderful Christmas for everyone ! (holds up empty glass)Anyway, I have just enough time for a quick jab - I've been out all day, being tortu... I mean entertaining demon spaw.. my cousins. We did have a lot of fun including me - this is chiefly due to the fact that I was not the one paying. Flury's is definitely the place to be if you want the best cake in the city. I honestly had more fun ferrying my cousins all over the city, than the in actual get together - Christmas lighting, 140kmph on a straight road (Hail Bhishondev), Jim Reeves on the player; I cannot put it better than one of my cousins, Nili, did : Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !
I have to get going now - Have another party at the Sonar Bangla. Best Wishes to everyone, and May Your Dreams Come True...

- Debayan

Wooo Hoo !

2006-12-20T11:05:00.000+05:30

Phew. Practical examinations are finally over, and I am freeee (at least, I insist I am. I positively refuse to do anything remotely academic for the next few days. ), and very, very bored - I mean, you can only play MaxPayne so many times.
Xavotsav 2006, will, it appears, from the current state of affairs, be taking place in 2007. From what I hear, Milieu has also suffered the same fate, as we were unintentionally standing in the way of the Almighty Bandh God. I am normally in favour of any and all bandhs - I worship Garfield; however, this is getting to be a bit.. over the limit of tolerance : Bandh to right of them, Bandh to left of them, Bandh in front of them Volley'd and thunder'd. In this month alone, there have been bandhs on the 1st , 5th, 13th, 14th, and another two days of liesure break have been scheduled for the 21st and 22nd - I mean, there have been more bandhs than Sundays this month, for Irodov's sake !
Oh Well. I have this blasted cold which refuses to tace atque abi, and ditto, with reference to more examinations on the coming fourth, fifth and ninth - if, that is, I survive; my mother, after witnessing the inefficacy of medicine recommended by Doctors of Medicine, has decided that 'natural' treatments are in order, and I am being force fed all manner of plants, leaves, honey-extracts, and some other things which my mother assures me I would rather not be aware of. My tongue is green, and my breath smells of neem. Another week of this, and my stomach will start sprouting leaves.
My parents have to attend yet another wedding (reception) today - with the number of weddings that took place this month, India's population should witness a sharp increase in less than a year.
More news as soon as I get bored enough; for now, though,

Toodles.

- Debayan.

Next !

2006-12-02T17:40:00.000+05:30

Went to watch Casino Royale today. Tickets were ridiculously overpriced, and they had more thorough checks than the airport (which, unfortunately, is not saying much).
Oh well - any concerns about Daniel Craig not fitting into the role of Bond seems to have disappeared; it is true, that he does not quite fit into the role of the Bond who can fight through a Mongol battalion and complain about the crease on his suit - he does not even attempt it.
In this movie, Bond's unevolved character is highlighted; and a deliberate attempt to deviate from the 'usual' Bond is clearly visible - there are no invisible cars, destructive satellites or lesbian sword fighters. The yeah-I'm-over the-top-but-I-still-rule feeling is not there.
Here, he is still trusting. He bleeds, he is vulnerable - Bond is suave, stylish, but not yet there - we catch a glimpse of the Bond-that-will-be in some scenes; he tells a female agent
"You're not my type. "
"Smart."(?)
"Single."
Bond's incomplete development is quite apparent in many scenes; 'Do I look like I give a damn ?' is his answer when asked if he wants his Martini shaken or stirred. His choice of dinner jacket is corrected by a female agent (!). By all the Gods - my jaw almost fell off !
Bond's old (well.. new) acquaintance Felix Leiter is present, as is Rene Mathis. And also back is this..

The Aston Martin DB5
(this must be said in a tone of suitable reverence)

Superb acting, first class production, excellent script.. Casino Royale is definitely one of the best action movies I have seen recently.

Dhishum.

Note to the K : Casino Royale was mostly filmed in Paradise Island in the Bahamas.
NB. : No scantily clad dancing females present, but the credit sequence is still very impressive.

Baaanglaaaaa Bandh . <- fullstop

2006-11-30T18:06:00.000+05:30

Oh Glorious Joy ! Trinamul has declared a Bangla Bandh tomorrow, and consequently, college is off! Whatever their cause is, I support the Bandh wholeheartedly ! From what I make of it, it seems that Mamata Banerjee was on her way to Singur, for a meeting of some sort - and was stopped by the Police in the Maitipara area (who, according to Biman Bose, were merely following Section 141 (which he misread 114)), and escorted back in A Police car to Kolkata. Mamata Bannerjee, it seems, did not take kindly to being thwarted (also, the Police car which took her back reportedly had an engine which had been stolen from the Indian Museum three and a half years ago - or, at least that's what it sounded like ) and rushed to the Bidhan Sabha, where Trinamul ..well.. wreaked havoc, and (^_^) declared a 12 hour Bangla Bandh tomorrow. I love it.

To Insure Promtness

2006-11-29T18:04:00.000+05:30

College ? Well, we had two people taking about doing laundry in Germany, and the aforementioned actions importance to getting a (Most Esteemed) degree, which the (Most Esteemed) non profit organization they was part of would help us with. In honours, well... after covering file manipulation and compression algorithms in C, our (Most Esteemed) teacher decided to enter the (Most Esteemed) world of the (Most Esteemed) Micro Hard Word. After exploring the incredibly engaging area of changing font colours, and italicizing, we swept through to document merging, and finally into Clip Art. And then the bell rang.
Phew.
I spent some time reading old forwards.. well, it turns out that the Great Wall cannot be seen from the Moon, and neither did Mars come unreasonably close to the Earth this August.
"How stupid can people get ?", I asked,
well.. I thought .. "not much, I suppose".. and then I saw this -

BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:

is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain. contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
may cause severe burns.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

as an industrial solvent and coolant.
in nuclear power plants.
in the production of styrofoam.
as a fire retardant.
in many forms of cruel animal research.
in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer! The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

What else was there for me to do but cry ?

Vot ?

2006-11-28T18:30:00.000+05:30

Saw this kid dance, as well as a cut from Cabaret; this clip - As one of the comments read, " Their tomorrow ended in 1945, and thank God." - even saw these donkeys singing (a click to start , another to stop the donkeys - I tried to make a nice tune... the results were ... unsatisfactory. Oh well.).
As for College; had two of the longest periods since Maggie - The teacher was in his element, the room, as Bijon would say, resonated with the force of his stupidity. We learnt that 'Other than operating systems, another common example of Systems Software would be Linux" , and the differences betweenand that linked list programs had been written as long as five thousand years in the past.
I have a chem (Do NOT ask) presentation to do, as well as a load of odds and ends to pick up.
Oh well.

I'll blog of it tomorrow, for tomorrow is another day,

Wednesday Thursday Friday

2006-11-27T18:32:00.000+05:30

Winter winter, when will you be here ? Its the end of November, and I am still comfortable in half sleeves... its not even cold enough to deter my neighbours from playing badminton in the evening.. and when I say bad, I mean bad.
Foolish winter.. touching and teasing, but refusing completion. The weather is most uncomfortable - I feel far too warm with the fan off, and frozen, with it on.

Honours internal practical examinations are over, and I am free ! At least, I insist that it should be so. I will update contact lists, make quiz questions.. anything non academic will do. I'm boooorred. Watched Numb3rs but it turned out to be a rerun.. There's nothing on TV other than those-evil-soaps-that-start-with-k (I used to think of her as an old lady.. y'know, grey hair, on a rocking chair, weaving stories out of reflections from old mirrors). Books to read, but nothing new... hmm.. perhaps
We were force fed UNIX shell script today.. urrgh. Not only does it taste bad, it doesn't even look nice. Mathematics class saw the advent of envelopes, while the Bengali (when, oh when will I be free of the dreaded subject `_`) teacher spoke about what Rabindranath Tagore could have written.. but didn't.

Went to CCD and had Chocolate Fantasy again.. ooohhhhhh... ridiculously overpriced, but when you start salivating within sight of it, it's worth whatever you paid for it. Had a discussion about Bollywood, and its inability to turn out anything worth watching that cannot be measured in flesh inches. Where is the next Sholay ? Films like Dhoom : 2, are of the come and go variety.. you watch them once, and its over. All 'timeless classics', it seems, were completed at least two decades ago.

Mbleh. Have far too many weddings to attend in the next few days.. 't seems everybody's getting married.. presents to buy, relatives to tolerate, oh, the things I do for society !

Also,... Watched the Indian team play cricket. Regretted it. Four hours, three bottles of coke, two packs of chips, and my national pride, all went down the drain.. and a very unwholesome gutter at that. Pitiful play, absolutely miserable tactics, and alas (!) , no rain. The most irritaing thing was that Kemp was not even playing well !! As they say, "Its not getting beaten that hurts.. but when you lose to a loser..." - not to say that the South African team is anything to scoff at, but when you have a team at 76 for six, well.. Excuse my anger, but this performance, if one can call it that, made me miss something rather important - At the end of the day, it seems the Indian team is.. unable to climax, as they say.

When you gaotta gah, you gotta gah.

Banking Woes

2006-11-26T17:40:00.000+05:30

Ouch.
Went to UBI today to get an account renewed, and to transfer some stuff from a matured FD.... It took THREE HOURS of their, and what is infinitely worse, MY time, just to change a minor account to a major. The software they were using crashed in the process of scanning my signature (What ? It wasn't my fault ! So I have a ... complicated signature. Big deal.), and then, the teller forgot his password, and the manager was in the bathroom... you get the general gist. The form was obviously designed by someone who loves to state the obvious.. four times over. There were separate fields for Phone Number, Contact Number, Home Number, Mobile Number. By the end of it, I was bored, irritated, and fourteen signatures weaker for my labours (you cannot truly appreciate the amount of energy and control my signature requires unless you see it - a video of myself signing a document can, and has been mistaken for a badly choreographed fight in a cheap Kung Fu movie). After ALL of this, I find, that my new account contains.. guess... oh I insist, go ahead and guess... nope. Wrong. My new account contains the Great, Grand and Glorious amount of seven hundred and fifty three rupees . The car parking fees for parking in front of the bank for three hours, amounted to a nice round twenty.
I come home, and what do I find ? What, but those deceivers-most-dreadful, those creatures-most-cunning, those who give new meaning to the phrase caveat emptor - salesmen. No less then four were crowded in front of the door, and I was besieged. I, sadly, did not emerge unscathed from the battle, being forty rupees lighter, and holding a bottle of floor cleaner as proof of my experiences.
Mbleh. Oh well. Let me see.. what news do I have ? Hmmmm...

Fresh fresher freshest

2006-11-07T19:25:00.000+05:30

Well.. we finally had our freshers' welcome party on Monday... which was admittedly good.. kudos to Asad, and his "dynamic personality", as Dr. Nath put it.
The entertainment consisted of everything from songs to dances to jokes by Gurpreet, to altdressing (I am avoiding the term 'cross'), to Somark(self-explanatory). There were some excellently sung pieces.. and others which were.. not so excellent.. oh, &$R% it - some were pathetic. Gurpreet was hilarious.. the man himself, more than his jokes (which Tommy, aptly, classified as complex - p+ij, where the joke was.. well.. imaginary.), the violinist was quite good, and of course, the star attraction... the Mr. and Ms. fresher awards.... Ritesh aaaaannnd Stuti !
Surprise, surprise.
Please note : "We are only very good friends." - Ritesh.

By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.

Reboot

2006-10-25T09:26:00.000+05:30

Oh well. Xavier's reopens tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to butchering the profs again. Mbwhahahahahahahahahaha !
And IE7 is finally done. And its actually GOOD ! Just add on someting like flashblock, and I'll use it, and nothing else. This ongoing browser war seems to be, to me, at least, obsolete. IE and Firefox are now so similar, that saying something like " Get this for better browsing" or " Other assorted blah blah" is foolish. Why do these people not devote their time to building better websites is beyond me. Right now, there's a kind of.. for the lack of a better word... an almost.. communal divide between users.... Firefox/IE, Windows/Linux, Mac/PC; some are choosing Win+Apple (!!!) insteadd of the usual wintel combination. Its totally meaningless.. write one article, say, supporting Windows.. and you'll get a hundred responses from aggrieved Linux users, some of them making excellent points, others being framed with suspictions of your ancestry, sexual habits and cranial capaciy... WHY ?!!!
Its JUST a bloody comp. PEBCAC. Look outside the confines of your screen for a minute.

- Debayan.

bbbbBooM ! Pyromaniac Paradise !

2006-10-22T10:15:00.000+05:30

Had a greeeeeat Diwali... Ahem.. Now Hear This : I have made a new record : Of lighting six (6. Get that : !@#$%SIX ) Tubris with one (that's 1. O.N.E.) fuljhari. Woo Hooooooo.
Important note to self : Beat up shopkeeper who sold defective rangmashals. Bloody thing burst while I was holding it.
Well, all that hullabaloo with the police running around, announcing that firecrackers emitting sounds above a certain intensity were banned.. along with threats of arrest turned out to be... well.. gas . The puja organisers had been specifically asked to warn everyone not to buy any illegal firecrackerss by the police. Sadly, the evening found the police selling the same to anybody with a few rupees to spare (apparently, they had siezed a large quantity of "shhobdobajis" from somewhere.. and some people saw a business opportunity).
Yen-yi-ve, I am swaying right now.. I haven't slept all night.. and I have yet to open seven out of the twelve packets of bajis that I had bought.
Burn ! Burn ! Burn !
Mbwhahahahahahahahahahaha (cough....choke) Ahem..
Wishing you all a Happy Diwali,
Debayan Gupta.

X-ray eyes.. and now Invisibility !

2006-10-20T09:59:00.000+05:30

Remember that evil piece of ^&$* called Snell's law ? Well, finally, I am pleased to say : He was wrong. Take that, Bijon, I told you so !(Even if I was not necessarily thinking of um... whatever : He was wrong !).
All known materials, tilll now, had a positive refractive index...
"But scientists from the University of California at San Diego described in Friday's issue of Science a strange composite that has a negative index, essentially reversing Snell's law. This new mix of fiberglass and copper rings and wires (see image) is far more than a curiosity, the researchers say. It may very well lead to novel electromagnetic devices and even perfect lenses, unhindered by diffraction limits and thus capable of focusing light in unforeseen ways.
Sheldon Schultz and his colleagues produced the class of composites last year, predicting at the time that it would defy a number of ordinary properties, including the Doppler effect. Their recent demonstration is only the first of what they hope will be several to reveal the composites' unorthodox behavior. In this case, they showed that microwaves—at the same frequency as those used in police radar guns—emerged from the material in the exact opposite direction from that predicted by Snell's law. Next they hope to extend the material's powers to focusing visible light. "
And a few months after this, along came the nearest thing to an invisibility device that we have today...
Okay.. first things first : these devices are made out of metamaterials; what the bloody F#^$ are metamaterials, you ask ? "A metamaterial is a composite structure, built of metal rings and wires embedded in fiberglass, that makes light behave in weird ways. Metamaterials can be used, for example, to bend light sharply or to focus it to a higher resolution than is normally possible. More recently, researchers pointed out that the technology should make it possible to construct spheres or cylinders capable of cloaking an object almost perfectly from detection by a single wavelength of light. When light strikes a metamaterial it causes the electrons in the metal pieces to vibrate; these vibrations in turn affect the speed of the light. A metamaterial shell with the right gradient of metal elements should cause light of a particular wavelength to wrap around the shell's interior. "
Soon, they hope to be able to conquer the challenge of completely cloaking an object from the visible frequency... ahh the prospects of such a device ! Are you pondering what I'm pondering ?

- Rasevaudez, Debayan.

AHA ! Intelligent life does Exist !

2006-10-19T15:58:00.000+05:30

Its True ! I saw the whole thing !

Acronyms

2006-10-19T15:28:00.000+05:30

The net, it seems, is flooded with more acronyms than my ram can hold, and so, I am listing some of the ones which come to mind ...

AFAICS = As far as I can see
BTW = By the way
FYI = For your information
HAND = Have a nice day
IMHO = In my humble opinion (egoless)
IMAO = In my arrogant opinion (e.g.o.)
IMNSHO = In my not-so humble opinion (a lot of ego)
IMO = In my opinion (not much ego)
IOU = I OWN you. (NOT I owe you, not when you're on the net.)
MYOB = Mind your own business
OTOH = On the other hand
PEBCAC = Problem exists between chair and computer
PEBCAK = Problem exists between chair and keyboard
PMFJI = Pardon me for jumping in
RTFM = Read the ___ manual
SO = Significant other
YHBT = You have been trolled
YHL = You have lost

More ? You want more ? Ok. I'll Give you more ! Here you go , Master Twist.

DNA computing is on a roll...

2006-10-19T14:51:00.000+05:30

Remember all those darwazas from Sudip's class ? Well.. loook out Silicon Valley - Researchers are developing DNA molecules to mimic the logical operations carried out in silicon-based computers as a way to improve biomedical technologies or aid in assembling nano-size building blocks into new materials. In one approach, a series of wells is filled with hairpin-shaped strands of DNA, called gates, which respond to inputs in ways chosen by the designers. A group had already shown that such a system, called a molecular array of YES and AND gates, or MAYA, can play a game of tic-tac-toe restricted to certain moves. (quoted)
The fact that DNA computing works at such a level, considering that the science is still, more or less, in its infancy, is proof of the immense potential of the subject.

Pheew.

2006-10-19T14:48:00.000+05:30

Long time no see, eh ?
Oh well. I'm back now after a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time, and I'm here to stay.
Debayan Gupta is in the building.

2000

2006-07-20T20:07:00.000+05:30

2000 visits to this page. I am very excited ( NOT !) .
Anyway, what's really funny was that I was going to post something to do with 2000 AD, and I suddenly see that my hit counter reads exactly 2000. Scary, eh ? Oh well, here's the link : dabludabludablu .
As for Prof. Nath's ideas about unix security : HUBBA HUBBA . But, realio, trulio, the Openwall Project is one of the best ventures I have seen - it has information, solutions, and advice - all of which are always available on the internet, but rarely accurate : this site, however, seems to be an exception, and has a lot of help for the half-nerd techie.

India Censored

2006-07-19T21:23:00.000+05:30

India is My country. I love my country. That being said, Nuke 'em ! Nuke the bloody bastards, I say ! Politicians from our Great country who cannot distinguish a monitor from a cpu and know nothing whatsoever of the internet, suddenly decided that they were going to follow in the footsteps of Chinese idiocy, and begin political censorship of websites, to " help curb terrorism ". Nothing has been done, as of yet, about the mobile phones and SIM cards sold illegally to the terrorists responsible for the Mumbai blasts. Buuuut, apparently, the terrorists were using not email, not any groups or communities, nor any messaging services, but blogs to exchange confidential information. So, our government, in its infinite wisdom ( if you are a member of the government of India, I shall explain the previous phrase to you, as you are obviously unable to comprehend simple logical concepts - that was sarcasm, do you understand ? ) decided to block access to blogspot, geocities and typad. The morons running the ISP companies here are still tight mouthed about the whole thing, at first denying that any censoring at all has been done, then, after some persuasion ( read : bribing and threatning them ) they said that they were "merely following Department of Telecom orders which came last week", and because they did not have "the capability to selectively ban webpages" ( which is still against the principles of freedom of speech ), they banned entire domains. And this coming from the world's biggest Democracy. And the origin of one of the largest numbers of computer experts in the world. And a country which prides itself for tolerance. Our politicians should not be allowed to breed. This whole fiasco has become nothing less than an idiotic joke, and I do not like jokes of that variety. I hereby put forward the proposition that all Members of Parliament be required to take an IQ test, where, they will be asked to step down, if their score is less than half of that of a severely retarded mule ( Chimpanzees are much too intelligent to be used in this comparision.) . In other news, we had a lot of rain today - and Salt Lake was flooded, and I was late for class. News the Second : Xavier's College is off on the 21st and 24th ! YAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHOOooooooooooooo !
And, Finally, News the Third : I was so annoyed about this internet censorship nonsense that I have actually not read a book today ! Gasp ! Call an Ambulance, somebody ! I think I see a light... nope, my bad - no light. Why ? Because the rreplacement that the KMC had put up for the defective lamp post light bulb in front of my house after countless complaints, has gone Fudut ! Phew ! They had me worried for a moment there - competence and KMC are prctically antonyms. Oh, well.

Toodles, Debayan.

WTF ?

2006-07-14T21:15:00.000+05:30

PLEASE READ THIS. THIS IS IMPORTANT, AND NOT THE USUAL YADA YADA, as Google puts it.

I was looking around on Orkut, and I found this group : We Hate India
This community is horrible !
Listen to this :

The sole purpose of this community isn't meant to offend India...its about making few statements very loud & clear to them...its about having a group of people who have enemity for India just coz of its oppressive & hostile approach...no matter how much proofs & justifications you bring up for there are many things which can't be denied & they won't be...you can flood anyone's scrapbook by talking trash & by giving up false news & stuff but it won't make any difference...i don't believe on any friendship nor do i believe on enemity but India's inclined towards doing it & i can't see that happening...though i didn't do much beneficial for my country but i tried to refrain myself from supporting indians & in embracing their Kaleidoscope culture...its not about hating Indian people & their country...its about hating all those things which are against Pakistan...against me!!!

That pissed me off. And then I read this :

" reason of enemity agaianst islam
Please do read them at least once as this might be helpful for everyone.
According to my limited understanding, these are two major reasons for the war against Islam:
1) The religion has a Holy book (Qur’an) that has not and will never change. It is obviously timeless guidance while being authentic and divine.No other religion has this privilege.
2) The stories of Lives of Prophets - referred in Qur’an (and Sunnah) are factual and Allah has given us the summaries of infinite practical life lessons to be learnt by referring them in Qur’an. This gives us an edge as compared to the followers of any other religion.
If we think deeply and contemplate on how would the enemies of Islam try to win the war against a divine religion??
) Conspiracy Theory Objective One: Change Muslims' way of thinking and try to take them away from their Holy Scripture.
How? Introduce other languages and take them away from their most powerful tool - LANGUAGE.Once the unchangeable book is translated - it won't stay unchangeable anymore!
Arabic is the deepest language in the world with a maximum number of verb forms as compared to any other language in the world.Result of this depth in verb forms is that we cannot accurately translate it to its full meaning into any other language.
As we don't know what we are praying for (as it is in Arabic) and we have our own language that we understand; our prayers don't have the required impact.
Allah wants us to understand what we are praying for!
Most of us don't really know what we are saying during the prayers - resultant is that the Salaah has become a mechanical thing instead of reflection & contemplation. Crush india 12/07/2006 19:312) Conspiracy Theory Objective Two: Create fear of this world in their minds so that they forget the lessons from Lives of Prophets.
How? Control people's minds through media. Everyone should start living in a fantasy while following the media - fabricated news etc..
3) Conspiracy Theory Objective Three: Make them weak and disunite them by making them fight with each other.
How? Create illusion, introduce fear and use "Divide & Conquer" by creating more and more sects.
How to Create Sects? Just produce another variation of translation of Qur’an. Change a few minute details through playing with words.
4) Conspiracy Theory Objective Four: Make them the Target for Hatred by General Public:
How? Introduce con-leaders and con- religious icons. Show them as terrorists so that the actual problem creators gain the sympathy of general public through fabricated media campaigns. Crush india 12/07/2006 19:31Simple Thing to Understand: Who has gained the most benefit (and still getting it) out of so called Muslim extremists?
Who gained the most out of 9/11, 7/7 and Iraq etc?
How? Create illusion, introduce fear and use "Divide & Conquer" by creating more and more sects. Take away the vision of life from Muslims by keeping them targeted.
All the above mentioned conspiracies and millions more mean nothing and cannot hurt us if we hold on strong to Allah's book and to the authentic Sunnah & Hadith.
Answer to most of the questions lies in this simple first steps (towards a journey of million miles):1) Understand what we pray (and ask for) during the Salaah2) Start learning Arabic language and learn/understand Qur’an to its fullest meaning - instead of getting deviated through inaccurate translations.3) If we understand what we are saying during Salaah - half of our problems will be addressed right away.4) Stop believing in media to the fullest. They are business men with hidden agenda (and foreign funding) and they have to sell - one way or the other.5) Always fear Allah and keep asking for help from Allah.6) Don't get bogged down with not important and useless discussions - rather try to solve the problem and suggest solutions to doable activities. "

I LOVE the freedom of speech. And, euphemisms aside, I HATE these kind of bastards. Listen up, citizens of Pakistan - I know a total of three Pakistanis, and am acquainted with one more; and all of them are wonderful, wonderful people - a lot of people in India actively hate all Pakistanis - Why, you ask ? Because of these few, who make a bad name for the rest of you, and for the rest of us, as well- no external observer would feel positively about the human species after having read this sort of thing.
I will not go into the Islam part of it - I personally believe that most religions do more harm than good - I do not care if someone believes in Allah, Christ or Krishna, as long as they are good people. However, it is these things that make others hate Islam - I confess, that after having read the latter portion of the text, I had a momentary bout of " Nuke the bastards" rush, befor my brain kicked in. So, please - I would ask you to report this group as bogus , but I like my freedom, so all I ask of you is to go, see and judge for yourself.

Most people are just really, really stupid. The rest are just bastards.

- Debayan Gupta.

00.7, Beta

2006-07-14T17:59:00.000+05:30

Have you noticed how all softwares are "beta" versions nowdays ? Anyway, I was searching for something to remove a trojan that had *somehow, I know not how* gotten into my computer, and I found this site : http://www.knujon.com/ - It has a lot of excellent advice for newbies , as well as technical information for advanced users.

Ghonta.

And That's All, Folks

2006-07-09T18:52:00.000+05:30

Realio, its trulio ! And now, its been proved as well : Men are more humourous than women. So, the next time your punchline fails to KO someone, instead, resulting in an exasperated eye-roll, it might not be a reflection on your material.
The study was conducted by a group of researchers ( who, according to RD, were laughing their heads off at the fact that while other researchers at the same lab were toiling nightly over malignant spleens, they were studying comedy ) at the Stanford University School of Medicine ( you can almost hear the Capital Letters, eh ?) .
See Here : Mbwhahahaha. The study results boil down to the fact that males are usually more optimistic about humour - when a funny cartoon was displayed, the females showed increased activity in the "reward centre" of the brain. When the cartoon was not funny, the activity in the area went bact to its normal, lower level. In men, however, this default level is much higher, and remained unaffected when the cartoon was funny; but, when the cartoon was not funny, the level actually declined - ie., the men expected the joke to be funny, and were disappointed when it was not, while the women expected the joke to be unamusing, and only relented when it was irrefutably hilarious . As it turns out, it is true that females tend to over-analyze things, instead of just taking the simplest solution that's staring at you in the face.

Or kut rut

2006-07-08T19:49:00.000+05:30

Joined orkut today afer some of my friends convinced ( coerced) me. Well, I duly filled in the forms, until I came to the " Upload your Photo Section" . I tried to upload this foto :

Annd after 23 minutes, my screen was still showing this :

I tried uploading photos to other sites, and got more trouble ( uploading the two photos above took seven tries - and this, on a broadband connection). Note to self : check connection. Curiously, my download speed is unaffected. Oh well.

Tried to access a russian website today. The site informed me that I was not authorized to view this site ( which happens often ) but the message that they displayed was quite ... inspirational : If you are American, Go to Hell ( or America, if you prefer ). If not, sorry for the inconvenience. Shit happens.

In other news, KMC has actually replaced the light on the lamp-post across my house. I am still recovering from the shock.

Festina Lente, Debayan.

Ext. : For RB, check out his Orkut profile...

Water, water everywhere

2006-07-07T20:18:00.000+05:30

We had a lot of rain here today, though I am reliably informed that it did not rain in AH block, which is less than a mile away. Perhaps Mr.Rob McKenna was passing by...

On another ( and more jarringly obnoxious ) note, I have the great pleasure(?) of announcing to the world that I have discovered yet another sub-species of that tribe-most-horrendously-evil, that group-most-sadistic, with few exceptions, the Teacher ( Torturer Extraordinare, Achiever of Countless Horrible Evils and Rampages ). This new genum seems to be exceptionally excitable, and liable to explode into action ( action = reiteration of the "importance of discipline ", which, apparently, is the "only thing in Xavier's".) and inappropriate ( and rather... unrealistic - it is impolite to call your teacher an out-and-out liar) flashbacks in the middle of teaching ( especially if it is something important ) .
Exempli Gratia : " In my time, there were some second year students. ( WOW !) There is a rule not to play in the field. They were tossing a tennis ball. Father came and cancelled their classes for two months." - In this highly condensed version, I have omitted the countless repititions, the grammar ( ie., lack therof ), the numerous "okay ?"s and the vigorous hand movements ( I know that the last one is hypocritical, but come on, this guy was practically jumping up and down ! ). Anyway, this anecdote is apparently proof of the importance of obeying the rules ( and not of the dwindling sanity of our Principal, or what is more probable, the teacher's lack of ability to make up a believable lie.).
Oh well. Note to aspiring artists : I do NOT look like an electrocuted wombat with blue striped buck teeth and orange polka dotted fish-scalesque beard.
On yet another note, My neighbour has bought.. let me see... yes, seven pieces of underwear, and apparently wishes to display them, and so, has strung them up outside my window. I am currently running up huge electric bills because of running my air conditioning twenty four hours a day. Any suggestions ?

Classes Commence

2006-07-04T18:54:00.000+05:30

Well, Dr. Nath seems to be a good teacher, although he was just introducing some algos today.
Note to self : Get the chap a decent blackboard eraser - the one he currently uses - to great effect, but rather in the opposite direction; the duster makes more prominent marks than the chalk.
Dr.P.K.C. also seems to be quite competent - although he keeps insisting that " Electronics is at the hart of every science ", and seems to have a lot of respect ( read:obession) for someone named J.S.Kilby (Jack Kilby) .
The Physics teacher - S. Palit, I think his name was, turned out to be a bit of a... hmmmm how do I say this politely... um... Oh what the heck ! He was, based upon my first impression, a complete bastard, and a possible winner of the Bangali Dhandosh Prize . The imbecile put nearly 120 of us in a room with seating for 70, and then started teaching : his voice is very - Tendulkaresque, without the slight raspyness - so few of us could hear him, and he then started to take a rollcall, sending people out if they did not respond ( one guy forgot his roll number ). Mbleh !
Enough of this nonsense ! Mails, people, mails - Dibyayan you Sharma ! Mail me or face the wrath of the ( I will throw no titles at you )...

On Another note, Look Out Superman,

I can see through things too...

Seeing is believing -- researchers explain 'x-ray specs' effect

An annual exhibition showcasing the best of UK science and technology this year includes a novel optical effect pioneered by physicists at Imperial College London.

[...]

Mbwhahahahahahahahahahaha.... it's only a matter of time before I get the rest of your powers, and flood the world with mutated cheese and Sharma Action ( inaction ?) figures ! Mbwhahahahahahahahahahahaha !

Note : No, I am not smoking anything, but with the fumes (~~~) around here, I don't really need to.

Toodles, Debayan.

Autonomy for Xavier's

2006-07-03T20:20:00.000+05:30

Newest advance in field of tortu-education !!! College actually checks papers !!! Gives accurate Marks !!!
Really !!!

"Ya Baby !" ( Comment by Principal Fr. P.C.Mathew during the ceremony for the "taking of effect" of autonomous status for Xavier's ) - it seems that PCM has been watching Austin Powers.

This also means :

If you get low marks in any subject you can just harass the professor and get it increased.
Less chance of your examination paper being stolen by a cat while being checked.
No (or negligible) student unions.
The * can buy special lotion for his beard.
The ** can actually buy a helmet.
Examinations Realio, Trulio, take place on time.

The Computer Science Head Of Department, Mr. Asoke Nath turned out to be a very nice and ... enthusiastic ( as it turns out, there is a reason why the word "enthusiasm" originates from a word meaning "possessed" ) man.

Note : This Picture was taken in a windless area, otherwise, the area of the scalp covered by hair is significantly reduced.

Before all this, however, we had introductory speeches by the Heads. PCM's speech was good, while Fr.Eaton tried to crack a few jokes, which, I must say, would have made a better impression if he had not read them off a piece of paper in a monotone. He insisted that The most important sign of maturity is knowing how to dress - ie., the finer points of the differences between partywear, picnicwear and collegewear ( his words, not mine ) and that things like pedal pushers were discouraged ( and I assure you, his tone was very discouraging ). He also seemed to have oiled his hair (?~!) today.

I must also confess that the pseudo attempted ragging session by the second years was a complete failure - I mean like, honestly, who is going to take five girls from the English honours section and a few (obviously sadly retarded) boys seriously, especially when they cannot think of anything more intelligent for a ragging session than " Say your Name in Hindi " - It actually took one of the male second years to point out that " Aaare, je bhashatei bol, naamta to aake thakbe " for the girl leading them (!) to realise her error ( I - and probably most of us - thought that she was just joking; until we came to the sad realization that she actually .. Gaah ! Even thinking about such idiocy gives me a headache. ).

Oh wll ! Regular updates from tomorrow, and

Haktufga, Debayan.

Oogabuga !!

2006-06-14T19:54:00.000+05:30

Tada ! Thank the Gods ! Jump for Joy! Praise the Ponce !

News that is Good: I is kcab !
Bad that is News ? Whatever little semblance of geeky humour I once had has been reduced to me finding things like saying wookiewookiewookiewookie funny.

wookiewookiewookiewookiewookiewookiewookiewookie .. ahem. And even this was not original ( thank God ! ).

Sorry about the delay - which was one of the reasons I allowed Arka into the blog - I knew that I would be unable to post for a while, so... Oh well. Now, onto the reson of my inability to post : College admissions. At first I thought that the lines at Xavier's were bad, but, I have been forced to revise my opinion by Presidency College - in Xavier's, you could, at least, submit the form online - you only had to come for the interview (and for the $^_^ $). Here ? You do have an online form, but in order to pay the Rs.15 fee, in order to get it validated, you have to stand in a line for one hour and thirty seven minutes ( That is how long I had to wait ), then, you have to fill up the form, where, for some reason, they have separate fields named : Address, Parent's Address, Communication Address and Permanent Address. After filling up this form, you then have to submit it, for which there are more lines - you can go for two Honours subjects, for each of which there is a different line. I had to stand in sweltering (we are talking 41ºC in the shade with 92% humidity, which was what the instruments there indicated) heat from one thirty three to five forty nine that's 1:33 - 5:49, with no fans, no ventilation, no water, no internet access, no anything in a queue that stretched from .. well, the corridor is 200m long, and the line doubled back and turned, so it was about 350m when I reached it. This was just the Physics queue. The mathematics ( see the absence of the M? Sharma will do that to a person. ) queue was even longer.
The only reason I survived was because I never actually stood in the queue - I took my leather bag, puffed myself up, put on a SJ ( Sab Janta ) face, and walked in. Nothing succeeds like effrontery, especially on a massive scale. ( Take that, Aviroop ! Name the book, If you can... )This post is just a filler - as soon as I am able to ( read : as soon as His Most Great Highness condescends to get up from his Most Wonderful Soft And Fluffy Bed ), I shall begin posting properly.

Bye, Debayan.

P.S. : Calm down, Arka. As Anindya used to say whenever we got a sum wrong - Don't be emotional.

P.P.S. : Guess who wrote this ( No cheating by searching... or ELSE ! )

Which came first, the egg or the rooster?

P.G.Wodehouse or Bertram Wooster?

I know hawk from handsaw, and Finn from Fiji,

But I can't disentangle Bertram from PG.
I inquire in the school room, I ask in the road house,

Did Wodehouse write Wooster, or Wooster Wodehouse?
*_*

I SUPPORT RESERVATION (read on...)

2006-06-05T10:57:00.000+05:30

I believe in reservation very strongly. I completely agree with what our PM is trying to do. But I believe that there should be reservations everywhere:

LET'S START
I am in favor of reservation if:

1. There can be reservation in Government jobs . Recruitment of only SC/ST(60%) and OBC (40%)pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians (that can really help the country and save many of us the disater of many a political coup.. )

2.Allow only SC/ST and OBC doctors to operate on ministers and other politicians. (Another way of saving our land..)

3. Lets turn to sports:
i. Cricket: OBC hitting a four will be a six
Scoring a 50 will be a century
Running halfway between the creases will be considerd one run
They will be allowed 2 chances while getting out
ii. Football: Striking any part of the goal posts will be a goal
iii. Athletics: A gold Medal for running half the distance

4. All cars and planes ferrying ministers to be built by SC/ST or OBC engineers.

5. Flats and houses to be built only by SC/ST or OBC architects

LETs take INDIA ahead.
Jai Hind!!!!!

I am now a member of the masters blog and i will write from time to time

Happy Blogging
ArKa

Shaint Jebhiyaars

2006-05-30T21:32:00.000+05:30

Well, I went to our alma mater today, to get my certificates - the rascals gave me " GOOD " on my character certificate ! Saket got the same thing thet I did - GOOD. When I asked Fr.Boristo explain, he said " It differs from Headmaster to Headmaster. And that should explain everything." GAH ! I'll boil them in castor oil and force them to watch legally blonde ( which is BAD - I was forced to watch it, and I had to take antidepressant ans antipsychotic pills before I could trust myself to speak ).
I had to wait in a very long line for two and a half hours yesterday, and two hours today before I got to meet the Principal. Honestly, it seems that every single person with a single certificate has come for " special consideration" - I went for the debaters category ( although I'll get in anyway, as I have good marks and I am a third generation Xaverian ). There were .. what.. 200-300 girls in the line, who were all, apparently internationally famous dancers - for goodness' sake, many of them had brought photos. photos of themselves dancing God-knows-where, while the form specifically spoke of certificates (at least inter school, preferably state or national level). There were many more who applied for the "Outstanding Sportspersons" option. I will not extend thiss any further than to say - I saw someone with a soccer match participation certificate from class 3.
In other news, I did worse than expected in IIT, with a rank of 2058. Oh well. All hail Abhinav, who got 292. I would also like to congratulate my cousin Nayanika who got 86% on her Madhyamik.

I will blog later.

Quota Row

2006-05-30T21:10:00.000+05:30

( If you have not read my mail )

As you all already know, the Indian central government has , in its usual unending wisdom, begun yet another crusade into the vast reaches of stupidity ( Quote : I believe that the Universe and human stupidity are infinite. I am not sure about the former. - Einstein ) . The politicians have decided ( although the heads of the institutions concerned have said, and I quote the eloquent words of the one heads of the IITs - " What ?!!! " ) to increase the already high quotas given to SCs &STs. Now, I have no objection to the idea of helping people out, but,

1. Institutions like the IITs take only the best. That is the purpose of "Selection" examinations. By doing this, the government is basically ensuring the people get in, not by merit, but through their heritage. What this leads to is even worse - people get into these institutions, are unable to cope, and drop out later. Just to give you an idea of the extent of this, in the last 2 years, in K'pur alone, five times the students that dropped out from the general category dropped out from the "quota" seats.

2. This entire quota hullabaloo is obviously nothing more than a political move - if someone really wanted to help the BCs and BTs, then they should, and would have tried to get the number of more primary and secondary level institutions increased, which would really help a lot of people - with this quota thing, how many are getting helped ?

3. The worst part : medical students. Firstly, the number of seats is very small. Secondly, and more importantly, what most people seem to be overlooking is the fact that education has a purpose - these students are learning to become doctors; these people are going to go out into the world, and people's lives, maybe even yours or mine are going to be on the line. I, for one, will not trust my life to any but the best. I will not trust my life to somebody who became a doctor, not by merit, but because of his or her origins.

The politicians of India today ( curiously, this title has become synonymous with .. .well to find out what it has become synonymous with, just go to your local Cha and Paan shop, and kick the tablle over. What you will hear is what I cannot type .) have begun this henious act. Unfortunately, as Carl Parker once said - If you take all the fools out of the Legislature, it will no longer be a representative body. Well, since they started it, let us be the ones to end it.

P.S. : "Henious", eh ? Guess why ...

Eh?

2006-05-16T11:24:00.000+05:30

First, a short message to those of you who know me - did you honestly think that I wrote that ? Come on ... my writing style is completely different, and more importantly, with my WBJEEs coming up, I have no time to research all that stuff. The P.S. was there for a reason.
I must say that "HUH ?!!" was my first reaction after reading the comments - Honestly, have none of you nakli-Kolkatans been to Shantiniketan ? Why do I ask ?

Well, here are the people who actually wrote this article -

Yep. Albert Einstein and Rabindranath Tagore.

The article was originally written by these two Nobel laureates, but was not published till a loooong time later, when Roald Hoffman found the half torn manuscript in the main library at Shantiniketan, where it still resides. I just added a few lines here and there, and -TADA !!! And if anyone still thinks that it is "b**l SHiT", and that author has an enlarged ego... well ! ( need I say more ... Albein annd Rabtag )

And as Guru reminded me, about the "I have a deep rooted hatred for all XAVERIANS for their bricks of ego strapped round their heads" comment - are you by any chance acquainted with any of the current students, especially of 11&12 ? If so, then I am afraid that I must agree - most of them have egos the size of Sharma's (mathamotix). If not, then stop making assumptions about people you know little about. One thing that I have learnt during my countless debate sessions with Rb, is that making generalizations like "all XAVERIANS" is nothing less than an invitation for your opponents to destroy your points ( if you have any

^_~). Oh well... away with the trivialities.

In other, completely unrelated news, I amm now sleeping with all my windows closed, because three -not one, not two, but THREE cats have decided that my sofa is a better bed than wherever they usually sleep. And so, I have to sleep (or try to ) with little or no ventilation. Mbleh !

Bye, Debayan.

Never let Reality get in the way of a good Hypothesis

2006-05-11T21:54:00.000+05:30

Date : Today, Time : From seventeen minutes past one to three in the blessed afternoon,
Event : 11 (eleven, E-L-E-V-E-N, aagaaro, aekadosh, etc. ) salesmen, selling everything from soap
to electric chimneys to magnetic ear cleaners ( I still haven't figured the last one out - I mean, how can one have a magnetic ear cleaner ?!!), and on top of that there was this chap who was
trying to get me to donate some money "For the Enviroment" - I was understandably reluctant after noticing the "enviroment", but I still gave him some money, and then, he tells me that
he won't give me a receipt ! So, I took the money back and kicked him out ( the first part wasn't as easy as it sounds - I had to threaten him with the local crimi..police before he gave in ).Well, after this I decided to write something about nature - Here goes...

The Vatican holds a fresco by Raphael entitled The School of Athens. Plato and Aristotle stride toward us. Plato's hand points to the heavens, Aristotle's outward, along the plane of the earth. The message is consistent with their philosophies - whereas Plato had a geometric prototheory of the chemistry of matter, Aristotle described in reliable detail how Tyrian purple (now known to be a precursor of indigo) was extracted from rock murex snails. Plato searched for the ideal; Aristotle looked to nature.

Short note : Contrary to the ideas of my next door neighbours, who are ardent supporters of CPIM, and for all I know, the ideas of many others ( although I fervently hope that this is not
the case ), Plato is the name of a philosopher, or in some cases, a distinctive dark-floored large crater on the Moon just north of Mare Imbrium, NOT a local company that manufactures
plates.

Remarkably, science today faces the quandary that Raphael's fresco epitomized. Should it follow the hand sign of Aristotle or that of Plato? Can we, for example, hope to make better composites by mimicking the microstructure of a feather or of a strand of spider's silk? Are scientists better advised to seek their inspiration in ideal mathematical forms, in icosahedra and in footballs (soccer, not the... solidified crudity that is rugby )? Or should we hazard chance?

To many people ( mainly the businessmen whose companies have to pay extra for environmentally acceptable manufacturing methods ) the difference between what is natural and what is not, is arbitrary - humanity is a product of nature, and thus, so is anything produced by it. Such a view is understandable and has a lot history, but it does away with a distinction that troubles ordinary and thoughtful people. So I will not adopt it and instead will distinguish between the actions, mostly intended, of human beings and those of animals, plants and the inanimate world around us. A sunset is natural; a sulphuric acid factory is not. The one and a half billion odd head of cattle in this world pose an interesting problem for any definition. Most
of them are both natural and unnatural - the product of breeding controlled by humans.So, the first thing that we need to decide is the definition of "natural".

The molecules that exist "naturally" on the earth emerged over billions of years as rocks cooled, oceans formed, gases escaped and life evolved. The number of natural molecules is in the billions; perhaps a few hundred thousand have been separated, purified and identified. The vast majority of the compounds that fit into the "unnatural" category were created during the past three centuries. Chemists have added perhaps 20 million well-characterized molecules to nature's bounty.

To every thing of this world, be it living or not, there is structure. Deep down are molecules, persistent groupings of atoms associated with other atoms. There is water in the distilled form in the laboratory, in slightly dirty and acid snow, in the waters associated with our protein molecules. All are H2O. When chemistry was groping for understanding, there was a reasonable reluctance to merge the animate and inanimate worlds.
Friedrich W0hler convinced many people that the worlds were not separate by synthesizing, in 1828, organic urea from inorganic silver cyanate and ammonium chloride, but even today, we divide chemistry into Organic and Inorganic - admittedly, this is mostly for historical reasons ( "organic" chemistry has many molecules which have never existed, nor are likely to exist anywhere outside of a laboratory ), but organic chemistry, based mostly upon the compounds of Carbon holds a special
importance to most humans - it is what we are made of !!! It must be very special !

Many believe that there is some kind of special beauty in "nature" - there is beauty in everything, but most of us refuse to see it. This means that we see the beauty only in what is useful to us, except in the case where the object is "natural", which, for our purposes means "already exists". Primaxin is one of the most effective antibiotics on the market, a prime money-maker for Merck & Co. The pharmaceutical is not a single molecule but a designed mixture of two compounds, imipenem and cilastatin. These are their "trivial" names. The real names are a bit longer; for instance, imipenem is

[5R-[5a, 6a(R*)]]-6-(1-hydroxyethyl)-3-[[2-[(iminomethyl)amino]ethyl]thio]-7-oxo-1-azabicyclo[3.2.0]hept-2-ene-2-carboxylic acid.

The production of thienamycin required 21 major steps, each involving several physical operations: dissolution, heating, filtration, crystallization. Between the starting material - a common
amino acid, L-aspartic acid and the desired product hienamycin 20 other molecules were isolated and purified.
The first impression that one gets is of complexity. That intricacy is essential, a laboratory counterpoint to the biochemical complexity of bacteria and us. We would like there to be "magic bullets" of abiding simplicity. The real world is complicated and beautiful. We had better come to terms with that richness. To get a feeling for the sweat, if not the blood and tears, of the process, we need to turn to the experimental section of the paper reporting the synthesis. Here is an excerpt of that experimental protocol, describing a critical, inventive step in the synthesis, the transformation from compound 8 to 9:

A suspension of diazo keto ester 8 (3.98g, 10.58 mmol) and rhodium (II) acetate dimer (0.04 g, 0.09 mmol) in anhydrous toluene (250 mL) was thoroughly purged with nitrogen, and then heated with stirring in an oil bath maintained at 80oC. After heating for two hours, the reaction mixture was removed from the bath and filtered while warm through a pad of anhydrous magnesium sulphate. The filtrate was evaporated under vacuum to afford the bicyclic keto ester 9 (3.27 g, 89%) as an off-white solid.

You can be sure that this jargon-laden account of an experimental procedure is a sanitized, too linear narrative; it is the way things were at the end: neat, optimized. Not the way it first happened. Putting that aside, you feel work, a sequence of operations that take time and effort. Sometimes, just as in our romantic notions of words springing from the brow of inspired poets, we forget the sheer labour of creation.

You ( like me) might be interested to see the way these experimental procedures change when the very same process is scaled up. You can't make hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of
tienamycin the same way you make a few grams in the laboratory. Here is the description of the industrial synthesis, for the very same step:

The solids containing 200 kg of 8 are dropped into 476 gallons of MeCl2 in tank TA-1432. Meanwhile, the reactor ST-1510 is cleaned out by a 200-gallon MeCl2 boilout. The slurry is transferred to ST-1510, followed by a 50-gallon MeCl2 line flush. An additional 400 gallons of dry MeCl2 are added to ST-1510, and hot water (65oC) is applied to the jackets to concentrate the batch to 545 gallons where the slurry KF (Karl Fischer) is approximately 0.5 g/1 H2O. Distillates are condensed and collected in another tank.

Making veal stroganoff for a thousand people is not the same as cooking at home for four.

People think writing a intriguing story is difficult, that good poetry has to be inspired by something - so do I ; science, however, has been reduced to something less.. a handful of formulae, learnt by rote, synonymous with clinical - where is the appreciation of the beauty of science ? Where is the spirit of enquiry that drove people like Richard Feynman ?If people are able to see the beauty in , and buy "modern" paintings ( many of which, to me, at least, seem to have been drawn by drunk chimpanzees ), then why can they not see the same thing in the structure of th ferric wheel ?

Stephen J. Lippard and Kingsley L. Taft of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology synthesized the ferric wheel, also known as [Fe(OCH3)2(O2CCH2Cl)]10. They discovered this exquisite molecule while studying model molecules for inorganic reactions that occur in biological systems. For instance, a cluster of iron and oxygen atoms is at the core of several important proteins, such as hemerythrin, ribonucleotide reductase, methane monooxygenase and ferritin (not household words these, but essential to life). In the course of their broad attack on such compounds, Lippard and Taft performed a deceptively simple reaction. Just how simple it seems may be seen from their experimental section, reproduced in its entirety:

Compound 1 was prepared by allowing the monochloroacetate analogue of basic iron acetate, [Fe3O(O2CCH2Cl)6 (H2O)3](NO3) (0.315 g, 0.366 mmol), to react with 3 equiv of
Fe(NO3)3Â·9H2O (0.444 g, 1.10 mmol) in 65 mL of methanol. Diffusion of ether into the green-brown solution gave a yellow solution, from which both gold-brown crystals of 1 and a yellow
precipitate deposited after several days.

Using x-ray diffraction on the gold-brown crystals, Lippard and Taft determined the arrangement of atoms in the molecule. The structure consists of 10 ferric ions (iron in oxidation state three) in a near circular array. Each iron atom is joined to its neighbors by methoxide and carboxylate bridges, "forming a molecular ferric wheel," to quote its makers. No one will deny the visual beauty of this molecule. It does not have the half billion dollar annual sales of Primaxin, but nobody who has seen the molecule can disagree to its beauty, which is not just the inherent beauty born ot of symmetry, but, somehow, I know not how, is as beautiful as any tropical sunset - yet this is not a "natural" molecule. Perhaps some day the ferric wheel will find a use; perhaps it will form a link in explaining the function of iron-containing proteins. I do not really care - for me, this molecule is just that ; a molecule, a piece of matter, which somehow manages to be.. there is really no other word - beautiful.

Is this not part of nature ? Perhaps this is what the old philosophers meant when they spoke of an omnipresent God - the beauty around us, within us, the wondrous beauty that prevades existence itself; a French chemist, Alain Sevin, has put it well:

The incredible richness and fantasy of Nature is an act of defiance to Man, as if he had to do better in any domain. Flying faster than birds, diving deeper than whales.... We are Promethean characters in an endless play which now is in its molecular act.

We are driven to transform. We have learned to do it very well. But this play is not a comedy.

Were humanity in search of a single icon, the outstretched hand of Prometheus bringing fire to humanity would serve well. Prometheus, a name meaning "forethought," represents the element of design, the process of fruitfully taking advantage of chance creation. Fire is appropriate because it drives transformation. The hand of Prometheus is the symbol of creation - the hand of God reaching to Adam in Michelangelo's fresco, the hands in contentious debate in Durer's Christ among the Doctors, the infinite variety of hands that Rodin
sculpted. Hands bless, caress and hide, but most of all, they shape.

Mbwhjaja !!! This is getting too sentu and aantellectual ! Well, there you go, a nice, long post making up for my lack of updates.

Bye, Debayan Gupta.

P.S. : Comment. Or Else.
P.P.S.: Immature authors imitate. Mature authors steal.
P.P.P.S. : More of this essay in my next post.

Dum de dum

2006-05-07T17:40:00.000+05:30

Sorry for the wait, but I was was busy with the ISI examination ( NO, NOT the bloody Paki ISI, ISI as in Indian Statistical Institute.) - Well, I had a GREAT exam, I mean, exempli gratia, the subjective part had TWO sums that I had done before - that's TWO OUT OF TEN !!! WOOHOOO ! I am now going out to celebrate. I will update , with details tomorrow. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

By Piskunov !

2006-04-27T20:12:00.000+05:30

You are what you eat. Shabir is God.

First, TOUCHY !!! Why did you get so defensive, my dear friend ? Care to elaborate on the "infact the guy at the beer store thinks im a beer snob"?

Second, Tandoori ? Is that the best you can think of ? Pooh.

Third...Bleargh ! Enough procrastinating. I was wrong :'( about the "crude" thing ! I don't believe it ! Dibyayan is right ! I take back whatever I said about the complexity of beer - I really should have researched beer when I was writing about wine. Well, just goes to show that even I can be completely and absoloutely wrong sometimes. As for the snob ( read Dibyayan's comments ) comment... HELLO ! Debayan Gupta here ! As in free-stuff-is-my-domain, I-love-ITC, pseudo-snob-of-the-century Debayan Gupta...

Well, Dibyayan, as you have done me the great favour of pointing out my error, you have been nominated unanimously ( like in the case of Frank R. Stockton's semi-barbaric king, this means that I agree to it ) to be the one to correct this... this monstrous occurrence from happening again, ie., you have been given the great honour of being the one to correct my... misinformation. In other words, send me an e-mail with a detailed description of the different kinds of beer; please do this as expeditiously as possible. You already know all of my ususal Or Else Threats, and I can't exactly threaten you with Actual Bodily Harm from all the way here, so, let me see.. umm...er...AHA !!! Or Else I will send you photos of ... I hesitate to even type it.. let's just say it involves Fohshow, Rubidium, Shama, and ... the HORROR ! I can't type any more !!! You get the general gist of it...

Rakkun wa'azmerkal, Debayan Gupta.

Bon Vivant !

2006-04-26T21:31:00.000+05:30

Some time ago, Dibyayan sent me a photo where he was drinking beer, of all things - at the time, my first thought was : " Beer ?!! You are what you drink; beer is... crude, at best. I must
send him some suggestions on what to drink."... my second thought was : " IIT "( to us, these three letters convey more meaning than most of Old Bill's sonnets.) . Now that I have finally found the time, here we go :

First things first :

Aroma The smell (duh !)
Aftertaste The flavour that lingers after swallowing
Big Powerful aroma and flavour; full bodied.
Body Weight and texture of a wine ( often refers to the alcohol content)
Bouquet The complex aromas that develop as the wine ages. (The "aroma" is just an initial impression; the bouquet involves a far more detailed analysis )
Delicate Light fragrance, flavour and body.
Dry In which all the sugar has been converted to alcohol.
Foxy The 'grapey wines made from the American grapes, Vitus labrusca.
Full bodied Full proportion of both flavour and alcohol.
Honest Without flaws, simple, but not excellent; a standard , or typical wine.
Lively Crisp, fresh,etc. - this type of wine has a kind of...vitality, if you will.
Mature Fully developed; ready to drink.
Meaty Chewy, fleshy, fruity taste and texture; sturdy and firm in structure.
Nose The overall smell of the wine - generally 'good' or an 'off'.
Oxidised Flat or stale as a result of overexposure to air.
Rich Full, opulent flavour, body and aroma.
Robust Full bodied, powerful, heady.
Silky Smooth, runs over the tongue, sinuous texture and finish.

The cultivation of wine can be traced back to several millenia before a man was nailed to a tree for suggesting that people should try to be nice to each other. The ancient Egyptians made wine, as did the Greeks, Romans - every major civilization that got past the tree-good-fire-bad stage explored the "celestial liquor". In the thirteenth century, the wines of Bordeaux were being shipped to England, and by the next, those of Spain and Portugal had also become widely available. India, however, suffered from the minor handicap of being a British "colony", which meant sky-high taxes, and consequently, low demand. Things have changed for the better, though - today, the Indian FoodGods list legendary procurers such as Marchesi Frescobaldi, Marchese Antinori and Algelo Gaja; noble houses such as the Cheval Yquem estates; fine wine producers such as Faively and Michel Laroche; the house of Gundel from Budapest, Great Australians like Torbreck and Clarendon Hills, established Napa Masters like Phelps, Mondavi and Caymus.

Many Indians suffer from the misconception that wine does not go with Indian food - the problem in question may be rephrased as : Does wine go with spices ? After all, the essence of Indian dishes is the multitude of spices used. The range of spices need not bog us down - a basic classification of their cooked form as subtle, soft or strong, is enough. For example, Turmeric would be classified as subtle, asafoetida, soft, while clove and cinnamon (and the famed garam masala they go into ) would be in the strong list. Not exactly Arun Sanyal level ;-)

Think for a minute of the ingredients of the dish - onions in dopyaaza, garlic in a lahsooni preparation and so on - if the intensity of the most persistent flavour can be harnessed with a
matched wine, ( the stronger the flavour, the younger and more robust the wine ) it will result in one heavenly ride. Remember, the strength is to enhance the taste, not try to overcome it - no wine can match good food.

En suite, classify the dish not ffor the presence or absence of meats ( white wine for white meats and red for red meats is absoloutely misleading ), but with regard to the style of preparation : roasting versus frying , or boiling, and the consequential change in texture, flavour and succulence of the food. Also influencing the equation are the actual ingredients - potatoes wil tone down the spiciness, crisp veggies add a different... facet, and the tanginess and texture of gravies and sauces are integral to the overall flavour of the food, and thus, the choice of the accompanying wine. Wines can be similarly classified, from elegant and light to medium bodied to full bodied and robust. However, serving a ricch wine with a rich dish may not always produce the desired effect as the two may clash cataclysmically in the mouth in a cacophany of flavours and lead to utter discord ( sorry, was just re-reading Auguries of Innocence ). Just like you wouldn't wear bright orange and electric blue together ( unless you are me, Lorne, or heading the Mardi Gras ), don't pair wines together because you like them individually.

I shall later post some combinations of dishes and wines that I have tried and enjoyed. Comment ! Vox populi, vox Dei, and all that...

- Yours ( NOT ! ) nayabed.

P.S. : Thanks to ITC WelcomGroup Hotels for Free Food, and Zest, and also a special thank you to Ira and Natane for all your help with this post ( and subsequent posts on the subject of wine ).

Delay

2006-04-24T10:01:00.000+05:30

This is Abhishek Dasgupta writing on behalf of Debayan Gupta:

My ethernet card decided to become angry and blew up. So I am not able to access the Internet now :-(

Rorys

2006-04-21T20:54:00.000+05:30

Well, I have been extremely .. busy is not the right word.. occupied... for the last few days - I was trying out notpron. There are 138 levels, and the object on each level is to somehow get to the next level using the clues on the page to find the URL of the next page, or the username and password required .The riddles are very addictive ( I'm on level 45 right now, and I came to know about the site the day before yesterday ) - many of them require the use of Photoshop ( in some cases an exif editor can be very handy - if you do not have one, you can just open the jpeg file in notepad and scroll for legible text, or maybe search for "city" or "location"), or in some cases, downloading the background music and in many other cases URL modification is needed and the sense uncommon in common man is absoloutely essential. If anyone wants hints - hints, NOT answers, I will not give out the answers outright - but, if you want hints, email me ( I might later put up the hints on the blog itself ). If you want the hints for a level, do not just send me the number - I do not have them memorized; send me a description of the page, or the URL, or the picture ( the last one is probably the best ). Levels get slightly challenging after level five or so, and although the increase in difficulty level is not completely uniform, on the whole, the riddles get harder as you go on.
I took Guru, Kunal and Rajat (a-z) to ITC Sonar Bangla Sheraton on Wednesday - we took a tour around the place, and had lunch at the Eden Pavillion ( free, as is usual with me and ITC )- the food was, as usual, excellent : all of us, except Rajat ( who had more dessert than actual food ) ate like Shabir. I asked Dasgupta to come, and later Swastik, but they couldn't make it. Oh well.
IMPORTANT NOTE : those of you who want short videos of school ( like Sharma teaching, or Arup asking Bijon " Aapnar love marriage na arranged marriage ? " ) - mail me.

Good(s) Bye(s), from, The Divine Kurta ( as my speech recognition software puts it ).

Yawn, etc.

2006-04-13T09:57:00.000+05:30

I am very very bored. I am so bored that I am using short sentences. All of you who are reading this, if you have any ideas on how I can Conquer Boredom, mail me. PLEASE !!! ( kuzutsu@gmail.com ).
On completely unrelated news, my next door Rabindrasangeet fanatic has now taken to watching Goopi Gyne, Bagha Byne The Movie. Six times. Well, he's watching it again, so make that seven. My other neighbour ( who has enough diseases to kill about twenty elephants before rendering the twenty first one comatose ) has, for some reason, decided to go around trying to convince everyone to vote for CPI(M).
Anyway, I will be going to Eeshkul on Tuesday, so those of you who have any of my books, CDs, DVDs, or any other stuff that you have borrowed, or "borrow"ed, Bring Them Then.
- Tra Laa Laa, Debayan Gupta .

HURRAY ! ( and other exclamations expressing joy, etc. )

2006-04-09T19:59:00.000+05:30

Cool...

The most evil IITs are now over. Finished. Finis. Done. Completed. Concluded. Over and Done With. No Longer There. You get the gist - No more Seebeck, Wurtz or L'Hopital, no more Hanshpatal treatment : It has been observed that taking the IIT examination is, for the student, an experience remarkably like undergoing major surgery - You are pampered, but not allowed to eat anything but stew, or go out ( in case you catch a cold) when you are at the examination hall (the operation theatre) your parents stand outside all day, and all your relatives call to wish you and ( in some cases ) console you. Thankfully, my own examinations were quite satisfactory ( except for the time in the Physics examination when I found my desk full of broken glass, from the nearby window, and due to the invigilators incompetence, lost about seven to ten minutes, after which the fellow spent nearly five minutes ascertaining that my signature was, in fact, mine. I have already reported the fool, and if I have my way... but what's done is done, and expect my Physics marks to be a bit below par, since, effectively, ten to twelve minutes were wasted - oh well, I have no intention of going to IIT anyway - if I leave Kol, then there is no way I'm staying in India - I mean, its my Matribhumi and all, but COME ON ! HONESTLY !

Enough talk about IIT - now onto Good News : (i) I'll be visiting SXC within the next week, (ii) I will indulge in a massive book buying BOOM in College Street within the next few days - I have not bought any new books in the last two or three months.. OKAY, so I sneaked out and bought two, or four, but ...no SIGNIFICANT purchases - nothing above 250 or 300 ! HAPPY ? #_#... anyway, so I have about 7500 to spend, and college street is bibliophile Heaven !!!

Mbwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, etc, Debayan Gupta

P.S. : Comment, or I shall unleash the Unimaginable Horror of a recording MriGos singing ! Bwhahahahaha !

IMPORTANT NOTE : As, for some reason I cannot edit my old post, here is a
Gleba Message : Thank you very much, Dibyayan and Ira. I have fixed the mistake. Yes, it was a mistake. " b-o-o-K-s and not b-o-o-B-s , etc.

Fanfiction

2006-04-06T12:59:00.000+05:30

Mbleh ! Preparing for IIT's is a real... female dog ( My mother is in the room ) and so , I was just reading a few fanfics, ( ffnet, ficwad, aff , etc. ) and I saw an old link in my favourites section, which I had not touched in quite a while ( those of you who know me know why this is - the link was located in Leisure/Reading/Fanfics/Others ) and decided to check out the link before deleting it , and it turned out to be the coolest ffsite I've seen - most of my favourite authors are there , and although I'm already part of most of their individual Yahoo! groups, this site provides easy access, and al LOT of excellent fanfiction. http://www.fanficauthors.net/

Bye, Debayan Gupta .

The Big Crunch !!!

2006-03-29T21:58:00.000+05:30

And Thus Ends the Big Bong !

This is a wall. It is made up of bricks and cement. I am losing

my creativity at dC/dt= Dr. Arun Sanyal 's IQ .

TADA !!! Bengali examinations are over, and thus ends the horror that is ISC... for those among you who are not acquainted with the vile workings of this council most evil, the ISC is a collective venture of some of the most sadistic carbon based bipeds ( and some who are unquestionably alien creatures - I am saying that they're alien ; Dasgupta agrees with me, so that's that ! ) that ever walked, or in some cases, waddled on planet Earth ( for directions check old post on location of Earth. It's Mostly Harmless. ), which seeks to take over our planet by ensuring that the next generation of humans will be mindless zombies, using a long term brainwashing method called "education".I have already made a ( rather small ) bonfire using some of my school books ( those of you who know me can understand how bad these books must be for me to do this ; for those who do not know me , I am a bibliophile, bookworm , gronthokeet, etc. : I LOVE boobs. ), which my mother found disagreeable for some reason - I mean, WHY, in the name of every obscure deity known to exist, would anyone want to keep such horriffying texts inside the house ? King has nothing on these stories - you read one of his books, and you get a thrill, and you'll be a little ... alert for the next couple of days. You read " Shabek Monushatta aar Haler Shine Kora " and " Shopnodorshon Biddabishoyok " and you'll be scarred for life... let me put it this way - on the DisgustoHorrifiMeter, they rank just under being permanently painted pink and just above witnessing a showering Sharma. ( Yes, I really, REALLY hate Pink. ).IIT preparations purodome cholche, I spent all of yesterday solving practice papers from Brilliant Tutorials and doing other such depressing stuff.
I am really sorry about the long wait, but it was unavoidable - IIT studies are very time consuming, and I have been...persuaded to lower myself to the henious task of learning band theory and colloids ( in the past few minutes ) and other such vile stuff of Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics as nightmares are made on, and our massive syllabus is rounded with an examination. Pathetic, really, look at me, reduced to quoting from something as mundane as Shakespeare, instead of say, something of Maurice Leblanc or Shashi Tharoor, or Kenzaburo Oe or Yasunari Kawabata, or even Wislawa Szymborska or GGM - sad.. just sad. I think I'm turning into a Vogon.

-Bye, Debayan Gupta .

Algebra Simplified

2006-03-17T13:15:00.000+05:30

Hall and Knight

or 'z + b + x = y + b + z'

When he was young his cousins used to say of Mr Knight:

'This boy will write an algebra - or looks as if he might.'

And sure enough, when Mr Knight had grown to be a man,

He purchased pen and paper and an inkpot, and began.
But he very soon discovered that he couldn't write at all,

And his heart was filled with yearnings for a certain Mr Hall;

Till, after many years of doubt, he sent his friend a card:

'Have tried to write an Algebra, but find it very hard.'
Now Mr Hall himself had tried to write a book for schools,

But suffered from a handicap: he didn't know the rules.

So when he heard from Mr Knight and understood his gist,

He answered him by telegram: 'Delighted to assist.'
So Mr Hall and Mr Knight they took a house together,

And they worked away at algebra in any kind of weather,

Determined not to give up until they had evolved

A problem so constructed that it never could be solved.
'How hard it is', said Mr Knight, 'to hide the fact from youth

That x and y are equal: it is such an obvious truth!'

'It is', said Mr Hall, 'but if we gave a b to each,

We'd put the problem well beyond our little victims' reach.
'Or are you anxious, Mr Knight, lest any boy should see

The utter superfluity of this repeated b?'

'I scarcely fear it', he replied, and scratched this grizzled head,

'But perhaps it would be safer if to b we added z.'
'A brilliant stroke!', said Hall, and added z to either side;

Then looked at his accomplice with a flush of happy pride.

And Knight, he winked at Hall (a very pardonable lapse).

And they printed off the Algebra and sold it to the chaps.

-- E. V. Rieu

Well, well, well, what do we have here ? As far as I am concerned, ( and as far as just about every student is concerned ) , "accomplice" is just the right word.

Mbleh ! I have been the victim of conspiracy most vile : for whatever reason, all the text that I view on a web page has been reduced to Times New Roman size 8, and I cannot open my own blog page - I can go to the Dashboard, etc., but everytime I go to http://nayabed.blogspot.com , This happens :

What in the name of Irodov, Piskunov, and Finar is going on ?

403 error ? I am forbidden from viewing my own blog ? for(int i=0;i<32767;i++)cout<<"?";

Holy Holi and 420 + websites

2006-03-15T15:40:00.000+05:30

Please excuse the pathetically pitiful pun. Due to circumstances beyond my control (much as I hate to admit it ) , I am not anywhere near my creative best. Computer theory examinations are over, and all that is left now, is Bengali.

A cross-section of my brain.

( The language I use proves this statement.)

Mbwhahahahahahahahha... Well, I am currently studying for my IITJEE examinations, which are... let me put it this way : to compare an A level exam to IIT would be to compare a morderately sized puddle to the Pacific. Both are water bodies, but... ( notice how many "..."s I'm using ? This is what too many examinations do to your creativity. )
The IIT exams are..."The IIT entrance exam is not really an Engineering aptitude test. It is a difficult exam, simply because the test is based entirely on a syllabus which is "out of reach" for the average A-level student. The IIT entrance exam is based almost entirely on questions taken out from the first-year engineering syllabus. The "eco-system" that has evolved around the IIT entrance exam specialises in preparing you to cram and regurgitate the first year engineering syllabus. One can set an even more difficult exam, by fairly limiting the syllabus of the exam to whatever the students have studied up to the average A-level across the country, but the IIT entrance examiners take the lazy way out and take perverse pleasure by making the test difficult simply based on a syllabus "out of reach" of the average student. If one takes a look at the American entrance test used uniformly by all undergraduate universities across America, the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT). The SAT is based entirely on the high school syllabus, and is a true "aptitude" test having a proportionate share of questions more tougher than any of the IIT entrance exam setter can dream of." - Not entirely true, but I'm harbouring a lot of hatred for the IIT right now, so ... I'm just basking in the satisfaction that comes when you shout at something you really, really don't like.

I have spent the last 24 hours running and hiding from those obnoxious brats that are my neighbours' children : celebrating Holi is quite all right, but I draw the line at trying to colour me purple and pink. I managed to finish about half of my Physics syllabus today from H R W , witnessed some horrifying "entertainment" on television - The only morderately good thing was Chronicles of Riddick, but weigh that against shows on the nocturnal habits of different kinds of sloths and massive, hour long "shows" which are actually trying to sell you stuff : They were trying to sell an anti -evil eye poendant on the History Channel today. I mean HONESTLY ! Anti-nazar ( evil eye) pendant ? I can tolerate religious zeal, but hello ? 2006 here ? What really scares me is that people are actually buying this stuff - and these people, for the most part are not uneducated ; most of these people have degrees, good jobs, money, and , apparently, enough stupidity to keep all of that in equilibrium.
Notice : Please do NOT mail me any more invites to weird, uninteresting, and completely pathetic sites like namesdatabase, bingbox and hi5 : Yes, they might be very nice, and you might get to know a lot of people, but there is no privacy whatsoever : exempli gratia, the namesdatabase site is owned by opobox ( even the name is all o's and x's ), part of whose so called "Privacy" staatements reads : You grant Opobox a non-exclusive, worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable, transferable, royalty-free right to (a) use, copy, distribute, transmit, publicly display, publicly perform, reproduce, edit, modify, translate and reformat Your Information in any media now known or not currently known, and (b) sublicense these rights, to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law. Opobox will not pay you for Your Information. Opobox reserves the right (but not the obligation) to remove or edit Your Information, but does not regularly review Your Information.
The third page is worse : it has six addresses which you HAVE to fill in, which will be used for "non-commercial" purposes, and if you do not fill one in, or give them an address they already have, you are forced to fill it in again till you give a satisfactory entry. Its horrifying. See this blog conversation. Even the more trustworthy sites like Google are being forced to release information to the bloody US government, and these sites are basically doing legally what professional conmen do outside the eye of the law.

On the brighter side of Today, I found some great movie bloopers and re-read Samit Basu's New Year Post as well as this great post. Just go to his blog http://samitbasu.blogspot.com/ and check out the Archives - I found out about the Lightning Thief from there a long time ago, and I like anybody who can recommend a good book to me ( which I haven't read yet ) .

Well, now that THAT's done with, Happy Holi !
- Bye, Mbleh !

And There He Stands, As if Alive...

2006-03-11T14:05:00.000+05:30

If you have no idea what the title means, click it.

And Here's Dibyayan...

The Big(?) Eight

His Next Duchess ?

Same Question, I'm Afraid...

Is that Beer ?

Well, I asked Dibyayan to send me some photos from way-over-there, place-outside-the-Indian-education-system, too-many-hyphens, etc. , and he obliged, but, he has decided to keep his friends' names to himself, saying " Maybe i'll include them depending on the interest received overseases " ( HA! Take that Dibyayan ! Criticising my ungrezi indeed ! Graumph! ).
Oh, and by the way, check out Dibyayan's List Of Titles : Dibyayan (Dev) Basu, Co-op Management Finance Specialist, University of Toronto 2009, MESA Financial Experience (FinEX) Volunteer. (Wipes Tear) Just 18, and he's got half the alphabet after him. It seems like just yesterday that he was jumping up and down shouting "treat" during breaktime. The Wheel turns.

Xavier's College has at last, become autonomous, and is now offering two new courses - Astrophysics and an integrated Biotech course ( Which just happens to satisfy the criteria for getting a Rs.1200000 grant from the state ). SXCS, as is usual where FohShow is involved, is steadily sinking deeper into intellectual depression .

- Bye, Debayan Gupta .

P.S. : Did you know? :

(i) In France, it is illegal for a person to kiss another on railways.

(ii) In Quebec, Canada, an old law states that margarine must be a different colour than butter.

(iii) Anssi Vanjoki, a director of the Finnish telecommunications giant, Nokia, was caught on his Harley motorcycle, doing 47mph in a 31mph zone. His fine was calculated at 14 days of his average income in 1999, which worked out to 116,000 Euros ($148,573US today), the record fine at that time. But wait! You know how the technology market is up and down. Well, Vanjoki petitioned the court for a reduction in the fine, because his 1999 earnings were based on large share options that he had cashed in at the end of the year. A subsequent drop in the market, meant a big dip in his income the next year. He ended up paying only 5% of the original fine. Vanjoki's case apparently didn't serve as a warning to others, because in February of 2004, another fast Finn felt the fickle finger of fine fate. Jussi Salonoja, the 27-year old heir to his family's sausage business, was also nabbed for doing 80kph in a 40kph zone. The fine? A new record- 170,000 Euros, or $217,736 in today's US dollars. The amount was based on tax records that showed his earnings in 2002, amounted to $13,243,279.

P.P.S. : Comment, or I will unleash upon the world the horrors of Sharma's failed love poetry ! Mbwhahahahahaha !

Joint Entrance Examinations

2006-03-09T19:02:00.000+05:30

Well, they've gone and done it again - Bloody bong board ! And I quote : " Due to the upcoming elections, the WBJEE (West Bengal Joint Entrance Examination) dates has been changed to May 20th and May 21st 2006. Physics (which will be held from 11 AM to 1 PM) will be taken in the first half and Mathematics (which will be held from 2 PM to 4 PM) would be taken in the second half. On the second day, Chemistry and Biology would be taken. More information will be available on this from March 11 on http://jexab.becs.ac.in/ . Admit cards has been scheduled to arrive a month before the actual tests. " - discounting the numerous grammatical errors, the fact of the matter is the the examination dates have been changed from 22nd and 23rd April to 20th and 21st May - nearly a *&^%$# month ! Because of Elections ! I am going to murder the Election Commission. As it is, I have sent them a letter, telling them, in terms which I had to look up from a thesarus, of my acute displeasure at their moronic decisions. Mbleh !
As they say - Kee bolbo Guru, Shei Nursery theke shuru : It starts right from kindergarten - you have to pass your classes, and that's " All you have to do " ; in every class, you have to " Do well in your exams " and that's " All you have to do ". ICSE ? just pass this, and its all over. Then comes 11th std, and ISC. Then IIT. WBJEE. ISI. Then actually studying there and passing the classes there. Then getting a job... the list goes on. Shei Nursery theke shuru, aar akebare Morle shesh. ( and not even there, if the subscribers to the theory of reincarnation are to be believed ).
The most devastating fact, of course, is one that everyone who knows me has already noticed ( Or Else ! ) : My birthday is on the 20th of May. I get to give the bloody WBJEE examinations on my 18th Birthday ! ( For those among you who are of less than average grammatical intellect, that was NOT an exclamation of "joy". It was expressing my acute distaste, displeasure and overall Marvin-like disposition. ). Instead of celebrating my "Coming of Age", and being magically transformed from a 'minor' to an 'adult', I get to fill bubble sheets. Oh JOY !
We had our Physics Examination todaay. The numericals were very easy, but the definitions and derivations which we were asked for were... stupid (?). A lot of people got their brains fried ( thankfully, Yours Boringly was not one of them ), and I am told that the ISC Council might be on the receiving end of quite a few Death Threats . Oh well !

- Bye, and Best Wishes, Debayan Gupta .

P.S. : Dibyayan - send me some photos of You And Your Friends from All The Way Over There - a lot of people here want to see you.
P.P.S. : Down with the ISC ! Kill the Infidels ! Kill Them . Kill them All !
Later P.S. : Dibyayan was right. Look at what they did to me. My impeccable Ungrezi is ruined forever ! Whaaaaaaaaa...

Whirlpool

2006-03-06T21:26:00.000+05:30

Whirlpool

I have decided to use this as my blogger ID photo.
Like it ? Hate it ? Want me to be reborn as a relative of Sharma's ?

C-H-A-L-K cholke na tolke ?

2006-03-01T19:30:00.000+05:30

Well, we just had our Chemistry theory examinations, and it was quite easy - though I have still not figured out why we have to know the structure, names and uses of Polymers Assorted.
Now, The Warning : If one more ignorant scoundrel tries to tell me that The Lord of the Rings is a trilogy, I will skin him alive. The Lord of the Rings is NOT a trilogy. The Bartimaeus series is a trilogy. If anything, LotR was initially made out of six "Books", under one , yes, ONE cover. The publisher, the Blessed publisher convinced Tolkien to break it up, so that the sales would not be affected, because most people tended, and still tend, to shy away from " fat " books.
Well, now that I have finished my rant...
Some time ago, I heard a poem read out at a memorial service for adventurer Sir Peter Blake ( Sir Peter was a successful yachtsman, and one of the few people who actually went around the world, who decided to retire from professional yachting and "give back to the world " by doing environmental work in the waterways of the world. ) who was murdered by pirates in the Amazon. Sir Peter's daughter read it as a goodbye and tribute to her father - it was undoubtedly one of the best and most moving recitals I have ever heard , and I was honestly astonished when I gathered that this was a Tolkien piece ( I thought I knew them all by heart ) . I searched The Book twice, and I have only recently found the story behind it,
Which goes thus . . .
For many years, Ms. Joy Hill served as secretary for J.R.R. Tolkien . As the story goes, Professor Tolkien used to joke that, if ever a diamond bracelet were to fall out of an envelope of the correspondence she handled for him, it would be hers. Near the end of Professor Tolkien's life, as she helped him pack his office for a move, a poem Professor Tolkien had written fell out of a book. Ms. Hill read it, and fell in love with the short, three-verse piece, and Tolkien made it a gift to her, her "diamond bracelet", so to speak. Some time shortly later, after Professor Tolkien's death in 1973, Ms. Hill gave the poem to the composer Donald Swann, who in 1967 had worked with Professor Tolkien himself to set many of Tolkien's songs to music in the collection "The Road Goes Ever On". Mr. Swann himself was so moved by the piece that he set it to music, and added it to the 2nd edition of the collection, which was published in 1978. The same poem was published as a poster in 1974, illustrated by Pauline Baynes, one of Tolkien's favorite illustrators; and was included in the BBC audio production of " The Lord of the Rings". The poem does not itself actually appear in The Return of the King , but takes place at it's very end, when many of the principal heroes of the War prepare to set sail into the West, to leave Middle Earth forever. Among them are Gandalf the White, Wizard, Maia, and Head of the Istari; Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer; and his elder Bilbo, who found the Ring so long ago -

" [Gandalf] 'Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.'
Then Frodo kissed Merry and Pippin, and last of all Sam, and went aboard; and the sails were drawn up, and the wind blew, and slowly the ship slipped away down the long grey firth; and the light of the glass of Galadriel that Frodo bore glimmered and was lost. "
- The Grey Havens ( Chapter 9 ) , Book VI

The poem was supposed to be Bilbo's farewell to his friends and to Middle Earth, and in a sense, this poem is Tolkien's Farewell as well - to the Middle Earth he created, to the secretary who served him so faithfully, and to us, his readers, who came to love the world he created. But the poem's depth and meaning still rings strong even for those who know nothing of Tolkien's Great Masterpiece ( Shame on you ! ) . In a few short lines Tolkien has for me, and so many others, captured perfectly the sorrow and hope amalgamated together that make up all partings, from the ends of visits with beloved friends and family, to the final depature for mysteries unknown that all of us must one day face. And in that achievement, Tolkien demonstrates again the incredible genius that has made him one of the greatest poets of this, or indeed Any, age.

Bilbo's Last Song

Day is ended, dim my eyes,
but journey long before me lies.
Farewell, friends! I hear the call.
The ship's beside the stony wall.
Foam is white and waves are grey;
beyond the sunset leads my way.
Foam is salt, the wind is free;
I hear the rising of the Sea.
Farewell, friends! The sails are set,
the wind is east, the moorings fret.
Shadows long before me lie,
beneath the ever-bending sky,
but islands lie behind the Sun
that I shall raise ere all is done;
lands there are to west of West,
where night is quiet and sleep is rest.
Guided by the Lonely Star,
beyond the utmost harbour-bar,
I'll find the heavens fair and free,
and beaches of the Starlit Sea.
Ship, my ship! I seek the West,
and fields and mountains ever blest.
Farewell to Middle-earth at last.
I see the Star above my mast!
- J. R. R. Tolkien

<>

...Superb. Simply, Superb. Simply, Sensationally, Strikingly,<>
Anyway, I have to go mug up a movie review in case one comes tomorrow. Wishing everyone the Best of Luck ( Lady Luck ? ) Goodbye, and Olleh !
- Debayan Gupta .

N.B. : I have the monopoly on dumb jokes.
F.N.B. : Comment or I will send all of you really nasty photos of Sharma wearing a pink tutu or less in the shower.
E.t.F.N.B. : This is not a joke. This is a Threat.

Just... brilliant.

2006-02-26T21:42:00.000+05:30

"I am surrounded by imbeciles and ignorant fools !" - I cannot remember who said this ( I think it was some Dark Lord or the other ) , but, although the statement is repititive, it is exactly what I feel like saying right now - its quite sad. I went to a friends place today, and found a book of poetry by Ogden Nash - I was particularly impressed by one poem, and when I told her about it, it turned out that she had never even heard of Ogden Nash ! Mbleh !
Anyway, as the story goes, the poet was once ill, suffering from some ( surely !) virulent pathogen, judging by the amount of pain that he was feeling, and so, he called a Doctor, hoping that he would be able to give him something for the pain. The Doctor, however, after examining our poet, quietly informed him that it was nothing more than a common cold. The Reply was published some time later :

Go hang yourself, you old M.D,!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
In not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.
By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

Now THIS is TALENT. Why could we not study this, instead of Small Scale Reflections on a Great House, or The Blessed Damozel ?

To Wrath ! To Ruin ! And some of Tolkien's Poetry the next time !
- Debayan Gupta .

Egg-Jam

2006-02-23T17:50:00.000+05:30

With the ongoing hulla about avian flu, and our ISC examinations taking place ( The latter is mentioned because there seems to be some kind of superstition regarding the consumption of spherical food items, ie., eggs, rosogulla, etc. ), I am now currrently surviving on vegetables. Vegetables. VEGETABLES. My forefathers did not claw their way up the food chain so that I could eat VEGETABLES.
Anyway, we just finished our practical examinations. We had computer practicals today, and the programs were pathetically easy - but, as usual with examinations in Kolkata, compications occured, namely, the printer refused to print my program, and when one of the examiners tried to reinstall the driver, the computer refused to detect the CD- drive - he screwed up something or the other, and do NOT ask me how, managed to comkpletely DESTROY the computer - we had to reinstall Windows in the end, but on the bright side, I got my printout in the end.
The other practicals were quite easy as well - we knew the salts for the qualitative analysis from before, but the titration was a bit.. off - you see, we had KMnO4 with concentration of 1.765 g/l, while they ( the ISC ) told us that the amount was 1.75, WITH an inpurity, which meant that those who actually did the experiment ended up getting purity of the sample as somewhere around 102%. While here, let me thank Indro, for assuring me that Ca was indeed present in the sample - I then proceeded to put excess NH4Cl in water, and convinced the examiner that it was actually the precipitate of Calcium after adding ammonium oxalate in group 5.
The Physics practical was a cakewalk for some, and a disaster for others, depending upon whether they got defective galvanometers or not., while the optical bench experiment gave an unworkable solution - for the fifth value given, the parallax error reduced as we brought the pin nearer to the second lens, but still remained, even when the stands were touching ( at about 6cm, while backworking gave us a value of 4.4cm ).
Yen-e-ve, Best of Luck to all who face inpending examinations, and Best of Luck to Debayan Gupta.

And so it Ends

2006-02-18T19:58:00.000+05:30

Eshmile !

The next Bird Disease : Avian Gas.

Well, as they said after Atlantis was destroyed, 'it's all over. You can go home now." - We had our farewell from the Alumnorum Societas yesterday, and it was A Memorable Event - Good Memorable, because we got free caps and food, and there were one or two good speeches - Fr.Boris started his speech with : " If I sound a bit hoarse, it's not because I am choked up with emotion." ( He did not start with the traditional "Allright" - this, for those of you who are not acquainted with him, is like a government being concerned for its people, like Einstein endorsing Quantum theory, like Jishnu being humble - okay, maybe not THAT incredible, but still staggeringly improbable. )
On the other hand, we had speeches by " Doss. Rajiv Doss." and Fohshow. They obviously use some definition of communication that I am not familiar with - "Horrible" doesn't quite cut it. Mr. Doss had this ghastly pseudo-American cum pseudo-English cum quasi-ancient Sumerian accent and I am certain that he had been through the notebook of quotes collected my me which is supposed to be with rubidium ( Rb), because all the quotes he used are from the first two pages of the book. Then, of course, there was the BIG F. The Big Bad Wolf has nothing on Fohshow. A speech given by the headmaster of one of the best schools in the cultural heart of the largest democracy in the world consisted of six minutes of pure unadulterated garbage. drivel. nonsense. hogwash. ( if you are still unable to get the point, go away.). I shall neither describe, nor reveal any portion of his speech here, for my conciense ( notice the incorrect spelling ? ) will not allow me to commit the unforgivable sin of unleashing one of HIS speeches upon unsuspecting innocents.
Davis won the Best Xaverian award, ( GO DAVIS !!!), and everybody knew that he would win, but he went up on stage and said " I honestly wasn't expecting this - especially the speaking part. I am very very bad at speeches.". Then we had the prize distribution, and went onto the field.
Prayag's mother's speech and the ITC guy's speech were quite good, but the best part of the evening was probably all of us shouting " Aayien " ( That just DOES NOT WORK in English, does it ? )
We had a lot of fun, eating ( the school supplied some a lot of food, and as usual, yours truly was also involved in the financing of the all round PetPuja ), shouting "Aayien" ( That Just Doesn't Work in English, does it ? ), ane releasing lots of baloons ( childish, but oddly satisfying. ) and , well, just having a great time.
For those of you who were not there, you missed a great day, and we missed you, Autrri, Dibyayan, Neel ( A-z order, so you don't kill me. ) and all you 2k6 denizens of SXC.

- Bye, Debayan Gupta .

Bleargh!

2006-02-14T20:49:00.000+05:30

I am now thoroughly SICK of having my photograph taken. The IIT forms demanded 5x4 photos, the WBJEE wanted 4.5x3.5 , then the ISI wanted stamp size photos, and I wasted three 5x4 photos before it became clear that nomatter how much I cut and cropped, it wasn't going to work. So, I went to a local shop. It is closed. I go to another shop. They haave some problem with the printer AFTER taking my photo, so they give me my money back. I go to another one. There is a big line. I take photos. I come home. I am severely bored. I am writing short sentences. The queue was ... well, the person in front of me was, by the looks of iit, an anorexic homosexual, and the person behind me was presumably a mother, whose ( again, presumably ) child kept sticking his toy phone in my ear. I am now trying to get some semblance of normalcy back to my life. Ah ! Here we are ! Hundreds upon hundreds of boring textbooks written by gramatically challenged authors. Home Sweet Home.

Back on Track

2006-02-09T22:15:00.000+05:30

Well, I have a LOT of work tomorrow - I have to buy an envelope and a postcard and fill up the ISI application form. Mbleh ! another exam. Exam after exam afer mock test to prepare foe exam has reduce my mental faculties to Fire good. Tree good. Exam very bad.
I have to study Physics tomorrow - Why we have to memorize definitions oof thigs like quality factor, figure of merit and R.M.S. current is beyond me - we know what they are ! We use them in sums ! We do not need to memorize these staggeringly boring definitions to know what these terms mean ! I HATE ISC. No euphemisms.
- Debayan " As depressed as Marvin" Gupta.

SORRY

2006-02-09T21:17:00.000+05:30

I am really, Really, REALLY sorry for the L o n g wait, but it was not through choice - I lost my password. But, Now that I'm back...
Jishnu Das called me about three minutes ago...
J : Hello, ami Jishnu bolchi.
D : Ki holo bol.
J : Are you free tomorrow ?
D : Why ?
J : There is a writing competition on tomorrow and I was thinking that you might want to...
D : WHAT ?!! Our ISC starts in less than 14 days, and I have just opened Bhatnagar to learn incorrect definitions of useless things for the first time and and and EXPLAIN.
J : Hey, don't get so angry - Fowshow calls me up a few minutes ago, and this is after nine, and tells me that there is some book-writing competition
D : What in the name of Irodov is a book writing competition ?
J : How the hell should I know ? As I was saying, He says that there is this competition at St.James' tomorrow, and he insists that I go to school tomorrow, get a letter of authorization from him and go to St.James' and prarticipate in the contest which starts at nine - so I have less than a 12 hour warning, and I have to go by cab to school for some STUPID contest that our STUPID headmaster decided to enrol our school in.
D : ....
J : WELL ?
D : So... I am sympathetic and all, but why are you calling ME ?
J : Isn't it obvious ?
D : No.
J : YOU could go. I cannot refuse him to his face - I am still part of the school, kintu jedin school hoye jabe, na, ami akta bodo gamla jol niye jabo, aar jabar shomoye mathaye dhele debo, aar tarpor na,
D : Yes, Yes that's all very good, but how should I go ?
J : Gari kore. Aabar kibhabe jabi ?
D : Ekhon raat showa nota baje. Aami gari shaataye chere diyechi. Kalke gari dupure aashche. Aami jodi jai, aamake Salt Lake theke taxi kore Park Circus, mane motamuti 250-300 taka khoroch kore jete hobe.
J : Um.. tor to prochur taka aache, ja na.
D : Tui Aniket ba Daviske bole dakh naa. Aamar pokkhe jawa Impossible - one, my parents will kill me if I do this less than two weeks from my boards, two, I have no viable means of getting there..
J : Taxite jete na chash, buse kore..
D : I, go by Bus ? How dare you even concieve of such a horrific idea ? Such a travesty shall NEVER I repeat NEVER occur.
J : Well, ami akhun ki korbo ? Ami to jete chai na !
D : Aamio jete chai na, ar ami jabo na. Tui to kachei thakish, ar tor to sudies ek bochor aagei hoye gache. Tui ja na.
J : Gnaa...
D : Ami bolchi shon, call foshow, and tell him to find someone else, preferably from 11, or try calling Aniket. O to eishobe interested.
J : Kintu...
D : Kintu abar ki ? Ami jeta bolchi sheta kor.
J : Aar ki hobe. Bye, then.
D : Bye.

Foshow is stupid, no ?
COMMENT.

Long time no see

2006-01-20T10:55:00.000+05:30

Sorry about the delay, but yes, I DO have an excuse, and a very good one : Examinations. If you are not a student of 16-18 years of age preparing for the IITs, then you have absoloutely no idea of what I am talking about - I am talking nonstop studying of absoloutely worthleess matter here : You have to know , and have at your fingertips , everything from self induction to assymetric effect to the equation of the common tangent of an ellipse and its conjugate to the derivation of the four points at which any two conics meet. AND on top of this, we also had to learn to do all of these in two ways : The correct, condensed method, for IIT, and the incorrect, staggeringly l o n g method for school. Some of the exams were pretty easy, though - the computer paper was photocopied from the ISC 2005 paper ( I mean it - they even copied the spelling mistakes ), the maths paper was a walkover, and the language papers were reasonably easy. Enough ranting. Have a great time ( better than us, I hope ).
Message for Neel and Dibyayan : Send me your addresses, I want to send you an ITC calendar.

Bye, and keep in Touch, Debayan.

Happy New Year !

2006-01-01T14:03:00.000+05:30

And with this Most Imaginative Title, I begin blogging in 2006. Here's wishing a Very Happy New Year to : Abhishek, Abhinav, Alexander, Amion, Ananda, Aniket, Anirban, Anshuman, Apratim, Arindam, Arko, Arnab, Asad, Avishek, Barun, Davis,Debadyuti, Debanjan,
Dibyayan, Dipankar, Disha, Dwip, George, Guru, Harsh, Hui Ying, Indrashish, Ira, Ishaan, Jishnu, Kunal, Moinak, Natane, Nayanika, Neel, Nili, Piyali, Prayag, Radhesh,Rajat, Rajdeep, Ranjan, Rina, Saurabh, Sauradeep, Shabir, Sonali, Soubhik, Soumabho, Souvik, Sriman, Sudipto, Suman, Swastik, Unmesh, Vikram, William, and a thousand others ( I am way too lazy to type all of THAT ).

Best Wishes From Debayan Gupta on 01 - 01 - 2006

New Year.

2006-01-01T09:36:00.000+05:30

Hello, everyone ! I just woke up a few minutes ago ( was up till 2 at ITC SB Sheraton ). Had a most enjoyable party : Hats off to YCD for pulling it off ! Most importantly, luck seems to be favouring me lately - they were handing out presents to all of us ( ITC people ) and I got a copy of LotR ! Friends of Nayabed will remember how my prized, cellotape wrapped copy was, by a most evil method, spirited from me ( Either someone 'borrowed' it, or I lent it to someone and forgot, and they went of to Tuscany ). I am spellbound. Suspect this may be conspiracy to lower my examination marks. I that case, I fear that the conspiracy's plan is working...
- Guddy vaj, Nayabed.

The Last Stand

2005-12-31T22:14:00.000+05:30

Well, This is the last post for this year - goodbye 2005. War, natural disasters and terrorist attacks, vast advances in medicine, literature and computing - 2K5's seen it all. I cannot say that this year has been kind to me - the school staff that we have to tolerate must be the result of karma born out of countless crimes over the last ten lives.
In 90 minutes 2006 will be upon us ! And so, at the Last Stand of this year, one can only wait and hope, as the incomparable Dumas said in the voice of the Count of Monte Cristo, and say :

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters now how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
- William Ernest Henley

Goodbye, 2005 - Nayabed.

Earth

2005-12-26T21:21:00.000+05:30

Earth. The third planet of a small yellow star in the outer part of the Orion arm of the Milky way, the second largest galaxy in the Virgo supercluster. Inhabited largely by carbon based bipeds who enjoy breaking things, these are commonly known as humans, most of whom fall under the subset of moron. These remarkable creatures are well known for their ability to completely ignore facts ( especially the group called 'politicians' ). Humans, insist, for some reason, not to abandon their offspring after a while ( as is common in other mammals ) but subject their children to a most hideous form of torture, called 'education', which completely crushes what little creativity remains, and ensures that the foolishness opf society continues.
Tchah ! By the way, here's
Dibyayan's message : Have a warm christmas Calcutta! I know i'll be having a (comparably) warm christmas as 2C. :) Take care all...miss you guys - Dibyayan

That's all folks,

Its Christmas Eve !!!

2005-12-24T19:04:00.000+05:30

Hurray ! Its Christmas eve ! Time for Much Much Joy , right ? Wrong. I happen to have a brilliant tutorials examination from 9:00 to 17:00, tomorrow. Exam tomorrow=study today, also = too tired to enjoy Christmas after an 8 hour examination. Bah !
As for why I was unable to attend the reading on the 20th, certain persons, who have a rather large influ.. what am I gabbering about ? - my parents felt that losing an evening of study by going to some book launch ( a marriage, or a birthday party, now THAT is a reason to lose an evening of study ) would cause irreparable damage to my studies. I argued that it would not, since I do not study in the evenings anyway, but what chance does logic have in the path of righteousness ? Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
Enough self pity, onto happier news ! Happy birthday to Abhishek Dasgupta, aka Einstein, aka The Alien, aka This-is-what-Euclid-was-thinking-of-when-he-defined-the-straight-line, species Nerdus, genum Geekus Geekus. Warning : This species, while seemingly harmless and physically frail, possesses an IQ far exceeding yours, if you are still reading this.
Anyway, Merry Christmas to Dibyayan Basu, Neel Ghose and everyone else who's reading this.
Nota Bene : If you are a teacher, or are in any other way, connected to the sadistic torture of young humans, then futue te ipsum et caballum tuum. And remember the Chinese Relativity Axiom : no matter how great your triupths, or how tragic your defeats, approximately 1.5 million Chinese couldn't care less.
So, Hurray, and Smile on,
Toodles.

Manticore's Secret

2005-12-21T11:43:00.000+05:30

Superb. Am speechless. Blog later.

Brains, people

2005-12-18T20:37:00.000+05:30

After having smashed my right hand on a door frame ( this being sufficient excuse to take a few minutes off ), I finally got down to reading the quotes from our most esteemed teachers...I was , not to put too fine a point on it, disappointed, disgusted, and deeply demoralized : Sakku, for example, wrote how wonderful it had been to converse with me , and I quote, " on an intelectual level", which says a lot about his "intelect" - he's about as sharp as a beach ball : if ignorance is bliss, half the school staff must be orgasmic.
Anyway, Physics class was torture - I still maintain that a physics teacher should teach and take examinations on physics, and physics only.
On a happier note, Samit Basu has said that manticore will definitely be available on Tuesday, and he had better be right, or he will be getting a large number of death threats.
Toodles, and Khanbiafo,

Chemistry no Mystery

2005-12-14T18:24:00.000+05:30

Chemistry practical exam today was a joke : everybody knew what salts were coming, as well as the organic compounds. The titre value was not known, so we C2D, and somehow, everybody ended up with a value of around 20.6, give or take 0.2. Went to Oxford - Manticore haas not arrived yet ... this is sacrilege, Samit Basu's book being available in Delhi before it is in Kol !!! Are you not a Bengali Mr.Basu ? On another note, I saw this abomination of an ad today : Let not litter glitter our streets ... Ranjana would probably decapitate the felllow who thought ( is that the correct term ? I mean, if the person had the capacity to think, he or she would not have written this .. okyvuedhyez ) this one up .

The God of Chemistry

2005-12-13T15:39:00.000+05:30

Guess who this is ?

Clue the First : He taught GD.
Clue the Second : He teaches me.
Clue the Third : If I know you, and you have not guessed yet, then your IQ is -ve.

Clue the nth : This person plays excellent chess, and is an avid reader. ( I am saying 'avid reader' - translate to non-bookworm language )

To Tulkify, or not to Tuklify ?

2005-12-12T21:40:00.000+05:30

To tuklify. We had our physics practicals today, and it was a complete catastrophe. I think that just about everybody copied half their answers; the rest copied all of their answers. Bijon, as always, was completely helpless, but overall, a good day.

Medals Galore

2005-12-11T20:50:00.000+05:30

Kung Foo

2005-12-11T20:29:00.000+05:30

Master Dasgupta Master Shabir

The Great Gazoo

2005-12-08T20:42:00.000+05:30

Can you recognize this place ?

Guess.
Go on, Guess.
Nope. Not telling.

Down the Way

2005-12-08T11:21:00.000+05:30

The Lab Scene

Calculus

Class Photo 03

Sudip & The Don

Group Photo 04

Here are some photos from yesterday.

I am quite confused that the name of our esteemed headmaster never came up in the "hate" section of my slam book. Does everybody believe him to be beneath notice ? Reminder to anybody who took photos yesterday : bring the photos on a cd tomorrow.If anyone has not finished his computer project, I will be bringing all the programs and algos on a cd to school tomorrow. And remember, If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Bye,

Chaos at School

2005-12-07T21:03:00.000+05:30

It was complete chaos at school today, with Mexican waves in Chem class and Mr.Sharma being locked outside during the Math period.
Moinak played the last stage of Oni, and Dwip listened to U2 during comuter period, while the rest of us loitered around. Chemistry class was a ... well, lets just say that MG kept shouting " I am NOT ANGRY !!!" while the class performed Mexican waves, and Jishnu kept saying " Ma'am, This is WRONG. This is an irreversible isothermal process, etc.". We had an E-1 period after this, during which we took a lot of pictures, and Arup and Indro discussed College forms with her, and Guru and I walked arounnd the school, snaring unsuspecting teachers and asking them to write down quotes. Maths class was Jhakaas, with Swastik & Co. locking the door, and the momeent Mr.Sharma came in, we all started singing "Happy Birthday", upon which he looked quite confused, and went red. after hordes of photos we recorded a vid. of Mr.Sharma giving a Shayari ( contact me for CDs ) and the subsequent "Vah! Vah!"s. We went to the lab during physics class, and it was complete chaos, with Rajdeep jadofying half the lightbulbs in the lab, Swastik walking the ramp on the tables, and Shabir jumping down from a table ( Shabir is.. big. Large. Huge. Massive. Stupendously colossal. ). Last period was H/B, which was ... empty ?
Anyway, my hand hurts from filling so many slam books, so "Okay for Today".
- Good(s); Bye(s); #define Nayabed;

Eschkul Today

2005-12-06T21:17:00.000+05:30

Here are some more pics from school...

The Great Piyush Bhaiya, without whom, most of us would fail our chemistry practicals.

Thick and Thin

Cheers !

School was, as usual BORING today. Sharma tried to teach us commercial mathematics ( the key word there is tried ). He seems to follow the principle of "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.". He is also very, very stupid. Staggeringly stupid. Mind bogglingly stupid.
MG tried to teach during lab, but after the initial titration, all the inorganic salts gave incorrect tests. This might have been due to the fact that somebody added some impurities to the sulphuric acid, making it turn black. Jishnu was apparently so engrossed that he did not notice that the conc. H2SO4 was black instead of colourless, which led to some very ...interesting results for his experiments.
Pu-ru-ru-ru-rum-pum Pu-ru-ru-ru-rum-pum pum-pu-ru-ru-rum-pum pum-pum-pum-pum, etc. ( March Past) practice was again as usual today. Pathetic.
N.B. : Never buy bengali translation of Alistair Maclean again. Excruciating.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Aviroop

2005-12-06T20:56:00.000+05:30

Aviroop : Here is the photo you asked for.

Google Job Opportunities

2005-12-05T21:27:00.000+05:30

Check this out !!! Hear Hear. All encephalonically challenged people get special value jobs for Google on the Moon.

Esphortsh !

2005-12-05T15:42:00.000+05:30

Go ( lemme check...) Loyola ! I shall be present on the sports day, providing moral support and free food. Eligibility criteria : You must cheer for LO - YO - LA !
All offers valid till stocks last. The offer may be cancellled without any notice at any time. All offers invalid if I decide not to come.
Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Further Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

My favourite cousins

2005-12-05T14:49:00.000+05:30

Pic 1 :Disha and Nili Pic 2 :Nandini

Meet my youngest and most favourite cousins. Disha loves to read, Nili plays excellent tennis, and Nandini is a computer lover. My other cousins would probably kill me if I did not mention them, so : Nayanika, Sonali, Piyali, Rangendra, Deborshi, and by Irodov there's twenty more. I am too lazy to type out all of their names, so tchah ! Dowedzinia .

R, S & Co.

2005-12-05T14:29:00.000+05:30

Sirs Swastik, George, Rajdeep and Dwip in the process of giving Gyaan.